Cathartic Creativity

Following the work of Arlene Steinberg

2011-12-21T20:06:00.001-05:00

Would you have believed that this painting is done in colored pencils?

I am pretty sure I would have found that hard to believe a year ago.

I have coveted Arlene Steinberg for a while.

Her colored pencil work astounds me. This is my favorite one of all.

I finally purchased her book, Masterful Color

and it was worth every penny.

I admit, I am an art book junkie. Some books don't have a long shelf life,

but this one is truly amazing. In terms of teaching technique,

it might be my favorite. She uses a complementary color

underpainting in her works. It befuddled me for a long time.

Make something green before red?!

I am now a believer--I have not been happy with my previous

attempts at "serious" colored pencil works.

I will gladly say that I am PROUD of this.

This was taken in poor lighting, and at an angle...so the grapes and pear are squashed.

First of all--I am not a very good at drawing.

These are simple shapes, but I am still proud that you can tell what they are!

As you can see, this is the complementary coloring part.

The pear will be yellow...so all the shadows are purple.

The grapes will be red, so the shading is green.

Second step...start adding the local colors (sorry for the bad picture)

Step 3...keep layering (the secret in colored pencil work: LOTS AND LOTS of light layers)

the local colors. This piece used about 15 different pencils.

The finished product!

As you may see...I messed up on the shadows with the grapes.

Oh well, this was purely to learn.

Arlene does very specific tutorials in her book,

so I can't take too much credit...but I learned a lot about her technique

from this one.

The best part? There are at least 4 or 5 left in her book,

and this is of course, the easiest one.

If you are at all interested in colored pencil as a medium,

check her out.

Also, I promise not to be so MIA. I've ignored my little blog.

This fall has introduced a lot of change in my life,

and the holidays are not so fun for me.

But the new year is soon...and I have to hope 2012

will treat me better than 2011.

Which reminds me!!! Check out what online class I signed up for!

(OMG I AM SO EXCITED)

Brave Intuitive You by Flora Bowley

She even wrote a book that is coming out next spring!

This painting is just a small example of her amazing work.

I am so so excited. (In case you couldn't tell by all the !!!)

I am also so so scared.

I know enough now that "learning" someone else's technique

is no guarantee that yours will look anything like theirs.

AND, her entire course and painting method is intuitive.

I do NOT do intuitive art work.

My brain shuts down when I try to just "go with the flow"

So, I am afraid of failing spectacularly.

But the price of admission will be worth it to watch her paint.

I am soooo intrigued!

Ballpoint Pen Mandala

2011-10-28T13:17:00.000-04:00

This one was worked in spurts,

sometimes going a week without touching it.

I painted the background with watercolors,

and did the mandala in two different ballpoint pens.

I feel like I may never ever feel very creative again.

Some of the spark is back, but it is sloowww,

and it is not linear.

Work is FINALLY going well, after over a year of

crises. You know what happens when external

problems are over? You are stuck with yourself.

I'm not liking it very much, but the one saving grace

are the 2 year olds I work with every day.

They are frustrating at times, but oh so charming

and cute and loving.

I'm hanging in there, and keep on hoping maybe

I will consistently do some art.

Colored Pencil and Mandalas

2011-09-19T22:05:00.000-04:00

There is a lot on mandalas on the internet,

about peace, meditation, healing.

I am not sure how much to believe, but I do know that

I can lose myself in creating the repeating patterns.

My interests are so off the wall. One week I want to do ballpoint pen art.

Another, colored pencil.

My acrylics gather dust, and then suddenly I will use them.

This painting is not finished.

It needs something, but I don't know what.

This picture doesn't do it justice--the colors glow off the page.

It just feels good to be putting color to the page again.

A blue bottle...started in orange

2011-09-03T01:01:00.000-04:00

I've been studying lots of color theory lately.

The thing with colored pencils is, is that they are semi-transparent.

Like watercolors, you can layer colors and they all effect each other.

Something I've read a lot about for colored pencil paintings

is that by doing an underpainting in the complementary color(s)

first, it adds more depth to the final piece.

So...that is what I am trying to do!

Can you guess what color I aim for this bottle to be when I'm finished?

Colored pencil obsession

2011-08-28T22:39:00.000-04:00

A bit of a blurry picture--sucks to live in a basement.

I have been poring over books and forums (namely WetCanvas) on colored pencil.

The things that these artists can do!!

Bonnie Sheckter

This picture is on Ann Kulenberg's site. This is done in

C O L O R E D P E N C I L

Blows my mind

There are some amazing colored pencil artists.

Just check out the website for Colored Pencil Society of America.

I am immersed in increasing my drawing skills,

learning color (yep, i've had fun making color wheels!)

and learning the versatility of colored pencils.

They are semi-transparent, therefore layering can become

a rich and beautiful result.

Recent drawings

2011-08-15T22:27:00.000-04:00

Slowly, over the past month or two,

I have been easing back into art-making.

watercolor

ballpoint pen for marble, markers for border

I'm even exploring an idea, inspired by a quote from Law and Order:

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole word blind."

Sketch

Beginning of colored pencil painting

The art of breakfast

2011-08-14T00:19:00.000-04:00

I have come out of hibernation.

I am s l o w l y doing different art projects.

I can not tell you how GOOD it feels to

want to rush home from work so you can draw, paint, dream.

I still need to photograph the few things I have done,

and then I will post them.

Until then...if you do not know the artwork of

Danny Gregory, you absolutely must

watch his drawing video, The Art of Breakfast

**Obviously if you do know and love Danny,

you clearly know you must see this video too**

It is beautifully shot (by his son), a piece of art in its own right.

To see Danny in his element is inspiring.

I hope to be posting much more often.

Feeling a little experimental...

2011-06-08T22:42:00.000-04:00

I don't want to get my hopes up

that I am ready to dive into art making again,

but I managed to finish another journal page over the past few days,

and that is an accomplishment for me.

Inspired by Ray LaMontagne.

His voice and lyrics tap into the pain

and loneliness in a way no other musician has.

Is that sun ever going to break on through the clouds?

Shine down on all its glory onto me,

here upon the ground,

cuz I can't hear a sound except my own sad story

I get so tired staring at the wall

Weight so heavy and that mountain so tall

Is there no one who would catch me if I fall?

Its more than I could take

Wish I could fake it,

Pretend like i dont' know whats going on

Something's wrong; trying to hold on just a little longer.

Can you hear me?

Can you see me?

Changes

2011-06-06T22:40:00.000-04:00

This is my brain/life right now.

I don't have many words.

Sketchbook Project 2012

2011-04-22T20:08:00.000-04:00

Hi folks,

I've had a rough few months, but maybe see a tiny light poking

through the murky darkness I've been in.

What shocked me into realizing how much I was

spiraling was almost losing my job.

I've been at this company for 6.5 years.

I like everyone I work with, and it is a very good company

to work for overall.

I got written up TWICE in one week.

I have never been written up.

I cried and cried in my boss's office.

I thought that I was going to be out of a job,

and it scared the shit out of me.

My boss asked if I was suicidal (eep!!!)

She came and met with my therapist.

My boss is amazing.

She somehow believed in me when I couldn't.

She was willing to fight for me, stick with me,

when I could have been fired a long time ago.

I owe my life to her--and I mean that pretty literally.

So, for those who have been kind and sweet and

waited patiently for me to return, I thank you.

From the bottom of my heart.

I am oh so slowly starting to feel like doing art again.

Little things, in small increments.

Therapy has been a catalyst in inspiring me.

Listening to U2's "Running to Stand Still,"

(the entire song speaks to me)

I was inspired to paint this.

I brought it into therapy, and it took until the last 2 minutes

to show it.

You know, its scary to show these vulnerable parts of you,

even if it is in painting form.

I explained that the river is the journey I'm on.

Its bumpy, and sort of dark.

The dark cloud pouring rain is how I feel most of the time.

And yet, at the bottom is this curious little bit.

Hearts. Hope. Light.

I originally was only going to do a small heart,

but ended up with three.

My therapist loved it.

She noticed how the hearts are connected,

that they may be smaller than the cloud,

but they still are a big part of the painting.

That the rain(tears) change once it hits the river.

Its funny how other people see what you do so differently.

My Nonni said that it is a bit "scary," but also

hopeful, like going from the unconscious to the conscious.

And, now onto the title of my post!

I gave up on my 2011 sketchbook, but I learned a lot.

I learned that I needed to pick a solid theme,

one where I knew I could keep a running idea throughout it.

"In Flight" didn't really work for me.

It was too broad, and I just did a hodgepodge of drawings.

Art House just announced the 2012 Sketchbook Project!!!

I now can pick out of any of the topics.

I now have a better idea of what I want/can do.

I now have more time to accomplish the project.

So, I signed up.

I'm proud of myself. I didn't deem myself a failure

because I didn't finish last year's.

I took it as a learning experience.

I am willing to try again.

If I don't finish it, then I don't.

But, I am starting 4 months earlier than before,

and I have a topic that I think suits me perfectly:

Fears and Tears

#1: I immediately thought of Tears for Fears, you know, the band

#2: This couldn't speak to what I am going through more perfectly.

I have so many fears, and the tears, well they come along with the territory.

What a great adjunct to therapy this will be.

I hope so at least.

30 Days of Play Winner!

2011-03-31T22:16:00.000-04:00

Corner of Creative Chaos

You are the WINNER!!!!!

I will let Spooky know and have her contact you

Send me your e-mail address

to dawnraymond04atgmail.com

30 Days of Play

2011-03-28T21:49:00.000-04:00

Hello friends.

Still in the trenches,

but I got a lovely offer from

Spooky to give away a spot

in her new Workshop!

Click here to read all about it.

The workshop opens this friday!!!

Please leave a comment if you would like to win a spot

in her Creative Sparks workshop.

I will pull a winner on Thursday evening.

Only getting worse...

2011-03-03T22:05:00.000-05:00

Hey guys,

just a quick update since its almost been a month.

I am so tired of trying.

I got written up at work today, for substandard performance.

It is one step away from being fired.

How did this get like this?

How am I such a bad employee?

I'm so exhausted from crying,

and can't even turn to artwork when I feel like this.

My paints literally have dust on them.

So please, send me some good vibes.

My little man asleep in bubble wrap.

Thank You

2011-02-18T20:10:00.001-05:00

I'm still in the dredges of crap, and haven't done much of anything,

BUT, thank you everyone who posts comments.

I don't always (ok...rarely) reply back,

but its not because I don't care.

Its because I'm lazy!!

(Its true)

I read all of the comments, and they make me smile.

So, know you ARE appreciated.

Not much art going on...

2011-02-13T23:36:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to send a quick update

so you all don't think I dropped off blogland-I haven't!

I just have been stuck.

I think it is a combination of my stupid work schedule,

actually feeling things (unpleasant things) in therapy

(I hate feeling!!!!),

depression rearing its stupid head,

and way too much sleep.

Lets just say that this weekend all I did was sleep,

and then go to work. At 5pm.

I even cancelled my weekly babysitting gig,

the one thing that makes me truly happy is seeing those kids.

But I had bad dreams all night, and at some point took out

my mouthguard thingy used to prevent clenching of my teeth.

I woke up with my entire face feeling swollen, my teeth/jaw aching,

and a headache. Not to mention exhausted...at 10:00am.

TOO EARLY FOR ME.

I am a night person, but working at 1pm I don't think is good for me.

I can not get out of bed in the mornings to do anything.

I am lucky to be awake at 11. Usually 11:30-12:00.

I don't go to the gym, or get out of bed.

Then I get home late at night, don't eat dinner

because who wants to cook that late?

And stay up until 2ish, in which I eventually take an ambien.

whew

I'm sorry if this is an overshare, but I feel constantly guilty

that I can't get myself to do anything--especially artwork.

I feel like I'm letting myself down, but also my readers.

You know, all 4 of you :)

The one nice thing about working late is that I have many hours

to do art, except it obviously can't be painting.

I've avoided that, but tonight I did work on my colored pencil project.

The magazine ad which inspired me

First work in progress

Second work in progress

Colored pencil is such a slow medium if you want to do it well,

and I am trying to do it well!

I picked a difficult picture to try out for my first time...

but so far I haven't gotten discouraged.

This is all I can manage to do.

I just am so frustrated/mad at myself because creating art

is the first and only thing that I truly love.

Yet, I run from any commitments,

struggle with creating artwork for anyone--which has only been my family,

and have zero discipline/motivation.

I feel as if I will never ever make this more than a hobby.

I don't think or expect to really be an Artist and make tons of money,

but maybe find a little niche somewhere.

How can that happen when I can barely do it for myself?

Post your Art on your walls

2011-02-03T11:55:00.000-05:00

Two days in a row of posting!?

I don't know if its because I realized how much

I've been neglecting my art,

or the fact that I got up early today because of therapy,

OR because it was a good therapy session...

Either way, I came home and painted some more.

I looked through my very first art journal pages

and while I had less artistic knowledge,

they radiated true emotion and beauty.

Its been a LONG time since I've done that kind of art.

I think I miss it, and I think it was good for me.

So I hung up some of my old pages.

Sorry for the blurry pics, but my room isn't lit well

and I was too lazy to use a tripod. :)

It is wonderful to be surrounded by your own work,

work that inspires you, makes you smile when you see it.

If you haven't hung up your work (and obviously I did nothing fancy,

just used masking tape on old pages!), DO IT.

You won't regret it.

The Winter Blues

2011-02-02T22:28:00.000-05:00

It seems all I want to do lately

is huddle under my covers

and do nothing.

The cold, gray days,

The fact that my (30th!!!!!) birthday is in a few days,

and my work schedule being all wacky, has gotten me in a funk.

I just would rather sleep than deal with life,

and my poor baby art journal has suffered.

In fact I haven't opened my paints

in over a month!

Until tonight.

Maybe because it was 65 and sunny,

Maybe because I told myself all day I

WOULD paint tonight...either way,

I busted them out.

I was inspired by a lyric the other day and

actually felt like I wanted to put that image in my art journal.

Here is a pencil sketch in my moleskine.

My art journal page is in the making, so stay tuned!

In other news, I finally ordered Andrea's 'Zine.

This is just a small glimpse of her work.

The zine is just filled with awesome drawings,

words and colors. I seriously could pore over it

with a magnifying glass (and it is needed, since there are teeny tiny words)

for hours. I am so glad I have her work that I can

just flip to whenever I want to be awed.

This is sort of a horrible picture, because the left side

is super light, and that is where the light is,

and the right side is dark (and more blue).

BUT, I saw this ad in a magazine and just knew

I needed to try and draw it.

Why do I feel compelled to draw these detailed things?

I perservered, and erased...and erased, but came up

with a sketch I liked.

Then I thought that this was a perfect drawing

to really try out colored pencils.

Like, serious trying...no willy nilly coloring!

I transferred my sketch onto tracing paper,

and transferred that onto Bristol Vellum paper.

I've done extensive colored pencil research because it fascinates me,

and Vellum is a cheap and good paper to use with CP's.

Colored pencils is a s-l-o-w medium.

This part you see? A good hour and a half!

And I am just a baby beginner...but it is fun

and so different than any other medium I use.

I have to consciously think of my color choices

ahead of time, layer very lightly,

layer some more...

and then some more.

I thought this would be fun because of the lack of colors.

It is overwhelming when you have an entire rainbow

of colors at your hand, but don't really know how to use them.

This just requires grays, dark blues and white.

So, keep watching for updates on this.

That is, if I can get out of my winter blues

Giveaway Winner and Linky Love!

2011-01-23T19:54:00.000-05:00

Hello, friends!
I'm so glad to see some new faces commenting.

Each and every comment made my heart smile, so thank you.

Now: For the winner...*insert drumroll*

acryingshamex!!!

Woohooo!!! Congrats.

E-mail me at dawnraymond04(at)gmail(dot)com

Linky Love!!

Kelly Rae: Letter to Self: I've heard of Kelly Rae before, but was

re-introduced to her blog this week. Oh, the beauty and inspiration!

All I can say is, I wish I could believe like she does.

Violette: Her blog is full of color and magic and imagination.

Jane Davenport: Oohh..her blog is oodles of fun.

She uses color beautifully, and loves color pencils!

My kinda gal :)

Kristin: Kristin from Journaling Saves

Lots of interviews and goodies on why journaling

is good for the mind and soul.

Jane Davies: Lots of beautiful artwork and tutorials.

I'm thinking about doing a letter to myself,

to be opened at some time later...but it scares me.

What will I put? Dreaming is frightening,

mainly because I don't want to fail.

More drawing practice...

2011-01-20T23:19:00.000-05:00

REMINDER: Only three more days left to

leave your comment on the previous post

and win "Art Stamping Workshop" by Gloria Page!!!

I pray that its just the winter and that

I am an extraordinarily lazy person...

because I have been sleeping SO MUCH.

Last weekend I slept, and worked on this painting.

I won't even tell you how many hours it took

to draw all those boxes in perspective,

and there are a ton of errors still!

I didn't color the inside of the boxes because

I was sick of it at that point.

Still. I am proud of how it turned out.

This has been my next drawing project.

I've worked on this for awhile now.

TIP: Do your sketches on tracing paper. It is cheap and very erasable.

Tonight I opened photoshop and placed my sketch

next to the actual picture.

I think seeing them side by side (and on screen)

will help me correct some of the proportion/shape errors.

And this kitty sketch is only about 2 hours into it!

I know I am not really going to make the likeness of Jack,

but I DO want to make it look like a kitten.

Big ears, small adorable face.

We shall see.

Acceptance

2011-01-15T19:19:00.000-05:00

A stomach virus wiped me out for most of last week.

My "schedule" to finish my Sketchbook came to a screeching halt.

Art House actually extended the deadline to Tuesday,

but I am not sending it in.

My dear friend Sophie will be sad, but thats ok.

I learned A LOT through doing this.

See, even sickness preoccupied my sketchbook!

(I love my Canada Dry symbol)

I learned that I need to come up with a more focused plan.

I chose In Flight as a theme, with the idea

that I would show my journey through the art world in my Sketchbook.

Sounds good in theory, but means that I meandered.

A lot.

Eden performed spectacularly.

I want to have more structure next time.

Either stay with one media, or do the same type of drawings...

I don't know yet.

I also know I am going to sign up for it earlier.

I signed up as soon as I found out last year,

but many themes were already gone.

Maybe if I find a theme that really calls out to me

I will be more inspired.

I also learned that it is OK that I didn't finish.

That may not seem like a big deal,

but for me it is.

I am quick to see myself as a fraud, a failure.

I was tempted to do that when I (again) didn't finish a project.

I decided that this was a great learning experience for me.

There are many pages I don't like, or are only half finished.

I just don't want to put that out into the world,

but I will be that much better next year!

I'm still going to finish the Sketchbook,

because there are many things I do love about it.

Sketchbook Project Update

2011-01-09T17:04:00.000-05:00

I had pretty much given up any hope that I was going to finish

my Sketchbook Project by the 15th.

I lost all steam after my trip to Kansas in September.

What was I thinking that I could do this?

This is dumb, who is going to see and care about this?

I did some stuff here and there, but left a lot of partially done pages.

These two drawings have been in pencil for months.

I originally did them because I was practicing drawing Legos

for a little boy I babysit for.

I was going to make him a painting, which has been sitting

half done for just as long. I sort of hate it.

Sophie, an 8 year old I babysit (little boy's sister) for

is my best supporter.

A few days ago she saw me working in the sketchbook

and goes "Oh yeah! How many pages do you have left?"

I sheepishly looked at her and went

"Ummm...a lot. And I haven't finished a lot of pages too.

There is no way I am going to get this done in time."

She demanded to see my Sketchbook, to which I obliged.

She marveled at my most recent drawing

My mom gave me this bizarre bird pen for Christmas,

so I brought it to work--and all the kids love it.

Sophie was amazed at how good it was and says,

"Dawn, you must be one of the BEST drawers in all of Virginia!

You have to finish this in time. You only have 9 days. Tonight

I want you to draw this pepsi bottle, and start finishing those pages."

Yep, all of this coming from an 8 year old.

She boosts my ego even though I know I am not even

close to being one of the best drawers in Virginia!

So, I listened to Sophie.

When I saw her the next day, I showed her the sketch, which she loved.

Her next project for me to tackle was finishing ALL of my unfinished pages

(hasn't happened yet), along with drawing a Sharpie

and scissors that were on my desk.

I couldn't help but to listen and oblige.

Not finished yet, I still have to color it in.

Of course she gives me all circular objects!

Drawing circles in perspective (aka: ellipses) is HARD.

I then worked on old pages, because she asked so sweetly.

How can you let a kid down?

These spreads were unfinished since September.

We went on a Party Bus, and yes it did catch on fire

(not while we were in it),

and yes it did get caught up in a high speed police chase

(also not while we were in it).

I also got an entire beer poured all over me

by someone who was drunk and walking around a moving bus.

NOT COOL.

This page was inspired by a pair of hairbands

sitting on my bathroom counter that I

found to be in an interesting pattern.

Funny the things that strike you.

This spread was fun.

I had previously Gesso'ed these pages,

and watercolor on top of gesso gives out an interesting texture.

The gesso is very non-porous. and I really like the effect.

That website is real! It has a step-by-step demo

on how to draw a marble and color it in with colored pencils.

Mine looks horrible in comparison, but I do like it.

I'm not sure if I didn't press hard enough,

or if it was the paper.

Lastly, I am trying to draw my cat, Jack,

from when he was a wee babe.

As you can see, its not very good!
Sure it looks like a cat...but thats about it.

Any seasoned drawers out there want to give me some pointers?

Also, while this is in my Sketchbook, I also am

drawing this for the Sketchbook Challenge

Each month for the year, this blog puts out a theme,

and you can make as many sketches that fit that theme.

They even have a flickr group!

It seems lots of people are participating in this challenge.

I really want to try and expand my drawing skills this year,

and I know myself well enough that I am going to need

a little motivation.

I so hope this is it. It looks like fun!

No day but today

2011-01-04T11:53:00.000-05:00

Hello fellow bloggers.

I've been a bad blogger of late, but I blame it on the holidays!

I've been working on my Sketchbook,

but there is no way it will get finished by the Jan 15th deadline.

Oh well.

I will finish it though. I need to take updated pictures

so I can show you guys.

I had a friend in town for NYE and she asked for a painting.

My only requirement was purples and reds,

and song lyrics from Rent.

I thought about it for a few days.

I knew I wanted to experiment more with my watercolors and ink.

From there, I wasn't sure.

So, I went through my supplies, and my little star templates stood out.

I sat down with my Sketchbook, the stars and a pencil.

A few sketches later, I decided on this layout you see above.

Next was the fun part, outlining it in ink (Micron), and detailing.

Once that part was done, I got to play with my watercolors.

I've read a lot about color theory, but when it comes down to it

I just like to mix my favorite colors and see what happens.

From here I just added layers of color until I liked what I saw.

Not very technical, but I love the outcome :)

Holidays are O-V-E-R!

2010-12-27T21:02:00.000-05:00

WHEW.

I don't have my own family (as in marriage/kids),

but the gift buying/wrapping/driving 9 hours/spending time with family

is tiring and emotionally draining.

This year, I had the 4 paintings for my Aunts that needed to be done

by Christmas as well.

OH MY.

The pressure I put on myself was too much.

I kept thinking and worrying about what my aunts would want,

what they would like.

What would look good hanging in their house,

even though I haven't even been in all their houses,

or feel like I know them as well as I "should" to be able to paint them something.

Brooklyn Bridge

This one, for my Aunt who lives in NYC took me the longest,

was the hardest, and was the most rewarding in the end.

She is SUCH a New Yorker through and through

and I wanted that conveyed through the painting for her.

My original plan was to do a NYC skyline,

with the Brooklyn Bridge in front of it.

The lights aglow at night, with them shining into the water.

I did sketches, and realized how much I can NOT draw.

But after many sketches, I got a vague hint of how I wanted to draw it.

Translating onto canvas worked out well enough.

Then I tried painting my "vision," and I hated it.

It just wasn't me at all. I was trying to make

this painting look more realistic vs abstract,

and I just am not good enough to make it look well-done.

Next, I worked on my Aunt's painting who lives in Arizona.

Somehow, I forgot to take a picture of this!!! GRRRRRR.

Lets just use our imaginations, shall we? :)

I had a thought that I would have a flower as the central focus,

but with fun, happy colors.

Colors that remind me of Arizona, and my Aunt,

who is bubbly and happy and positive.

Since my "vision" was more abstract,

I decided to just throw down those colors that reminded me of her and AZ.

Crimson. Teal. Orange. Yellow. Red.

LOVE

I poured paint on a canvas, smooshed it around

and already loved it more than the other painting I had been laboring on.

*I wish I had the picture. I am going to hopefully get one from my Nonni*

EPIPHANY!!!

I immediately loved this painting because it involved my favorite colors,

more abstract technique and I thought,

"Hmmm...maybe I need to stop worrying about what they will think,

but what makes me happy."

This is hard for me--but it was irrefutable proof that it made my artwork better.

The painting above is the result of that.

1,000 times better than what it was.

A little further onward, lend thy guiding hand to these dark steps

a little further on--John Milton

For my Aunt who lost her husband to cancer in May.

She's going through such a hard time, that I hope this quote can ease her pain a little.

For my Aunt that I feel like I know the least.

Hers was hard, and this was the first one completed--

before my ephiphany; therefore I like it the least.

My cousin told me she likes pinks and browns,

so that is all that I had to go on.

I am happy the holidays are over.

I am hoping 2011 will resolve in more focus on artwork

and what I want to do with it,

and less on spiraling into depressions and avoiding art when I should be embracing it.

Failing at Creativity

2010-12-17T18:28:00.001-05:00

Sigh.

You wouldn't think someone could fail at creativity,

but I am pretty sure I do.

These paintings are for my aunts, for Christmas.

My Nonni asked me to do them in OCTOBER.

They should have been mailed like 3 days ago.

Failure.

I bought the canvases about a month ago because I felt so guilty

for not having started.

A few weeks ago my Nonni told me I should probably unwrap them.

A week later, I did.

I did these paintings in the various forms as they are in

one inspired saturday.

Every single day this week, what did I do?

Oh, laid in bed. Because THAT is the productive

way to spend my evenings.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Also, not to mention my Sketchbook, for the Sketchbook Project.
I still have about 40% left to acomplish before Jan 15.
yeah right.
My peak with that was when I traveled to Kansas
to visit a friend. I've half-drawn some stuff here and there,
but blech. I was so excited for this, and now I want
to throw it in the trash.

No more Haul-idays

2010-12-13T21:32:00.000-05:00

Chronicle books announced their winner today,

and sadly it wasn't me.

Its ok, because I wasn't really expecting to win.

I've been a bad blogger, I'm sorry.

I am working on paintings for my aunts

which seem like they will NOT be done by christmas.

I finally actually started working on them last week,

and I'm in progress on all 4, but they probably need to be

at my Nonni's in two days. That is so not going to happen.

I also need to make a journal for my little cousin.

I'm not sure how I should do it, and whenever I make my own journals,

the stitching is always way too loose--no matter how much I pull

the strings taught :(

Plus, its so cold out!!!

All I want to do (and it usually wins) is curl up under my covers.

Want to win $500 worth of books?

2010-11-23T21:44:00.000-05:00

I thought so!

Chronicle Books is giving away a stash of books worth up to $500

to one lucky reader. Not only that, but it is YOUR book selection!

NOT ONLY THAT, but if you comment here (and like what you see)

you can win a copy of my list of books too!!!

How awesome is that?

If you comment and you want to put this in your blog

(and unless you don't like books *gasp*, you should)

I will comment on yours! I like to increase chances of winning things :)

So here goes...my much debated list:

Handmade Nation: The rise of DIY Art, Craft and Design

Reprodepot Pattern Book: FLORA: 225 vintage-inspired textile designs

The Paper Marbling Kit: Materials, Techniques and Projects

Graffiti Art Coloring Book (Umm..AWESOME!)

Music Listography:Your Life in (play) Lists

Lennon Legend: An Illustrated Life of John Lennon

The Exquisite Book: 100 Artists Play a Collaborative Game (one of the artists is Dave Eggers...and I L-O-V-E his writing. Please read What is the What)

Sketchbooks: The Hidden Art of Designers, Illustrators, and Creatives

Angaza Afrika: African Art Now (isn't the cover just lovely?)

Street Sketchbook: Inside the Journals of International Street and Grafitti Artists

Rex Ray: Art + Design

Patterns: New Surface Designs

1,000 Journals Project

Artist's Color Manual: The Complete Guide to Working with Color

Stencil 101 Decor

Paper Cutting: Contemporary Artists, Timeless Craft

WHEW! That took awhile.

In my next post I will talk about all the art I am not making.

Coloring Birdies, and Painting Pottery

2010-11-14T22:34:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't noticed, I love Eden's blog.

Last week, she did one of her awesome birdie drawings,

and decided to stop at the line drawing,

letting us color in the little guys ourselves!!

YAY!

I needed an activity where all I needed to do was

sift through my box of markers and color.

This picture doesn't show it, but the birdies "skin" is colored using sparkly gel pens.

Thanks Eden for this fun little activity. I loved it!

Sunset shot whilst driving home. I don't recommend doing this, but I couldn't resist

This weekend I went to Annapolis with some friends

to paint some pottery. I've never done that before, and it was F-U-N

My friends knew I desperately needed a fun day,

and they are sweet enough to make it an arty day.

blank moon canvas and colors

working on the sun

friend #1

friend #2

rare shot of me working!

finito!!

Zentagles a form of "cheating?"

2010-11-08T20:06:00.000-05:00

I love the idea of Zentangles.

A structured form of doodling!

Perfect for people like me who's mind goes blank when trying to doodle.

I have never been a doodler, but when I ran across the

Zentangle website, I was awed.

These were intricate pieces of artwork, and were structured!

The thing is, I feel guilty.

I would love to be able to let my mind go and make beautiful

doodles, like Eden or Lori or Dawn.

To me these are super-creative forces.

I have to think, plan for any sort of design.

With both of these Mandalas, much of it was Zentangle inspired,

or inspired by other doodlers around Flickr.

I like the end result, but it feels like cheating
What do you think?

On another note, I received War of Art by Debra!

Woohoo!

I have made partially through the first chapter.

I have to read it in slow, small doses...Resistance at its finest!

Check out the lovely gifts Debra sent me!!

I have always coveted her handpainted papers, but to see them in person..

pure joy and happiness.

And check out the awesome stitching!

The blue bookmark is this really cool plasticy material.

I hope that I can really take in the book.

Still slow going around here

NaNoJoMo, Colored Pencils and assorted thoughts

2010-11-06T15:18:00.000-04:00

I was hoping I was getting my mojo back,

but it is coming ever so slowly in fits and starts.

At least I am still interested and inspired

even if I don't sit down at my art desk very often.

That being said, I have been intrigued by

Dawn Sokol's NaNoJoMo prompt for art journaling this month.

Every day (the idea taken from NaNoWrMo) she posts

a word prompt on her blog, and you just have to put

something down on the page. It doesn't have

to be a full spread, even a mark will do!

Of course, I'm a "gotta finish" this page

before I move onto the next kind of gal.

So, I've done Day One so far. Woops

Inception was the word.

I immediately thought of the movie, and knew I wanted

to try and draw the little spinny thingy that Leonardo DiCaprio

uses to ground him, lets him know he's not dreaming.

That movie was fantastic and surreal.

I really connected with having a solid object

that keeps you grounded.

This may sound sort of crazy, but Jack does that for me.

At night if I have trouble sleeping, I can cuddle with Jack

and it calms me.

I have also been fascinated by the work people can do with colored pencils.

Arlene Steinberg

This is all done with colored pencils!

Fascinating is it?

I am amazed the perserverance that goes into colored pencil work.

It takes hours and hours of patiently layering light layers

of colors to get this look. I pretty much know I don't

have that kind of patience, yet I want to try.

I bought a book called Painting Light with Colored Pencil

and played in my moleskine last night.

I am still brewing ideas for these paintings I have to make

for my aunts.

I'm scared that they won't turn out good enough.

A finished painting

2010-10-31T18:50:00.001-04:00

(edit: I took a better picture of this!)

This picture is a little blurry, but I F-I-N-A-L-L-Y

finished a painting for somebody else other than me.

I've had half done paintings just sitting,

letting fear overriding everything else.

I am still struggling, but had a nice talk with a friend the other day

and she demanded that I finish a painting!

She suggested that I treat paintings I make for other people

(and this is just family)

like I would if I were just "playing" in my art journal.

I let the fear of it not being good enough halt my creativity.

This is the watercolor before I added the ink.

A better representation of what it looks like.

I hated this painting for awhile.

I knew it needed more, but didn't know what.

Last night with a fresh state of mind I decided to Play.

I can't say this will always work, my Fear is great.

But I like the end result, and it got me out of my head.

(and into my heart!) teehehe.

A detail shot from my Music Book.

I played with gel and texture.

The lyrics by Ray LaMontagne, who speaks directly to my soul.

I get so tired staring at the walls,

weight so heavy and that mountain so tall.

Is there no one who will catch me if I fall?

Its more than I can take and wish I could fake it

or pretend like I don't know whats going on.

Somethings wrong, I'm trying to hold on,

just a little longer.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement on my last post.

I may not always write back, but I read them all, and each makes me smile.

Art Mentor

2010-10-27T22:50:00.000-04:00

I have a wonderful, wonderful family.

A few weeks ago my aunt, who lives in NYC

and is a New Yorker in every way possible

AND works with artists as her career,

e-mailed me.

The title: "Art Mentor."

I was intrigued, and she basically said that she

has decided that I need an art mentor if I am going to sell my work...

(she holds steadfast to that about me, even if I don't)

She told me to stop doing my art journal pages

on both sides, basically told me that I need to get my shit together,

and that she was sending me a book to read.

I laughed as I read it, and wrote her back telling her she was QUITE bossy,

so now I am calling her Dictator MB.

A couple of days ago, I received this book.

I am about halfway through it and unsure how I feel about it.

It most definitely is interesting to read about artists

and the people who inspire them, especially Lewis Carroll.

Except, I don't know how this is going to inspire ME.

I wrote my aunt today telling her my thoughts so far,

and she wrote back "Its ok not to feel it.

What I want you to get from this is that you need inspiration,

to allow yourself to be eccentric if needed, or at least

be selfish about doing your art. You don't have to relate to any of them

but you do have to start immersing yourself in the pursuit of art.

So sayeth, MB"

I love this woman! Wise words, huh?

Also, my Nonni (my aunt's mom) is COMMISSIONING me!

Ok, so its my grandmother...but STILL.

It is quite a project she has bestowed on me.

My family has gone through some rough times this past year,

and she said The Aunts (her 4 daughters) motto is "Onward,"

and she wants me to paint each of them a painting with

that word on it, and signed by me. lol.

She has explicitly stated that I am to keep track of how much

it costs for supplies and my worth because it is not an argument:

it is a sale.

I have some bossy women in my family!

I love, love love all my aunts.

They have all been mother figures for me in many different ways all my life.

This is such an honor.

Now if I can actually finish a project for another person, we'll be all set.

I have about a zillion unfinished projects that are for other people.

I can't do it. Fear? Probably.

And she wants this done in time so she can mail them for Christmas.

EEP!!!!!!

Help! I need inspiration, a kick in the ass, hugs, motivation....belief.

Oh, now that I've rambled for so long (sorry), here are a few things I

have done in the past few days.

Oh Music Book, I've forgotten all about you.

You've sat on the shelf, sad and dusty.

Don't worry, I didn't completely forget--I have just been having a hard time.

Forgive me?

This is the first "piece" I have done in quite some time.

And in just a couple of evenings.

Record time.

I was browsing through Flickr and was inspired by

Bostinstuff's awesome work, which led me to Rettgrayson's awesome work.

Oh, the joys of Flickr!

Inspired by their use of color, and grid formatting

and a spontaneous idea to try and draw umbrellas (?)

this is what I came up with.

I needed it to be light and simple, so I took out my watercolor crayons.

Just a plain pencil and watercolor crayons and I kinda like it.

I am hoping oh so much that I am crawling out of that black hole.

I kinda need to...I've got family members bossing me around over here!

So please...I need some motivation and inspiration and belief that

I can pull off these paintings for my family.

I won!!!

2010-10-25T18:57:00.000-04:00

I N-E-V-E-R win anything.

I seriously have the worst luck in the entire world.

I entered in my story of struggling with art

at A Little Imagination and a Pile of Junk to win a copy of

War of Art by Steven Pressfield.

And I won!

I also got a wonderful halloween-themed card from

Eden, thanking me for support on her blog.

To me, it is not needed. She is amazing.

Her art is amazing!

Maybe this will help me out of my serious slump I'm in.

I've mostly been sleeping a lot.

I hope you stick around.

War of Art

2010-10-18T18:57:00.000-04:00

I've heard about this book from quite a few

respected bloggers, and also the title just captures me.

I think of art a war for me.

It is a constant battle to believe I'm worthy, creative...etc.

I feel like I'm on a losing streak.

Then Little Black Kitty (don't let the name fool you!)

posted a giveaway for this book.

Synchronicity at its best.

Plus she has the same exact music taste as me,

and well...that is always a bonus :)

So go over there and enter yourself to win this book!

(Or not, so I can...hehe)

PS: Thank you for your concern...I'm still in a rough spot,

and only time will tell how well I deal.

If I am away too long, feel free to come

kick me in the ass.

Ugly Inside

2010-10-17T14:13:00.000-04:00

Ever have something happen in which

all you want to do is nothing at all?

Except, its impossible.

You dont want to lay,

You don't want to watch tv,

You don't want to read,

You don't want to listen to your favorite music.

You certainly don't want to make art.

You want to scream and cry,

and yet...you stare at a wall?

This happened to me last week.

After staring at my wall and feeling only worse,

I decided I would take a piece of paper

and a pen and scribble (literally) out my thoughts.

Lots of swearing.

Lots of writing about how I kind of hate myself.

Pity party to the max.

Then, I forced myself to put it down in my journal.

I knew by throwing paint all over it

and being as angry and self-hating in the form of art

would make me feel better.

This wasn't easy, mind you...but I had few options.

Layer one. If you look closely you can see my writing.

I needed crimson and black, and scraped it furiously on the page.

A few more layers later...

The finished product, many layers later.

I wish you could really see all the colors that shine through.

I used all of my "ugly" colors, because that is how I feel.

Drawing Practice...

2010-10-11T02:08:00.001-04:00

Want to see awful drawings?

I thought so.

I have been taking the lessons over at the

Wet Canvas Forums...

and its hard work,

and I suck!

reference photo (taken by me)

Actual drawing

first of all, horrible photo.

it is so blurry because i took it at night, indoors.

second of all, not one die is the same shape!!

third of all, the shading is atrocious

fourth of all, even though I wrote out all the lines so they hit the Vanishing Line,

there are a couple that are clearly incorrect.

I could go on, but I won't.

Ahh the (blurry, again) Chair Picture

I wrote my indiscretions right on the wall!

I really am struggling with posting this one, mainly because of its bluriness

Attempt one at drawing boxes in perspective.

The middle box is all sorts of messed up,

so I was asked to do it again!

There it is, again.

I was sick of these damn boxes, so I simplified it.

The perspective is at least correct.

Easier to understand in theory vs putting into practice.

Ok, so I am editing this to say I wrote this

during a "pity party" moment!

Ha. I want to delete it, but I won't.

No one can be good all the time, right?

Free Art Course?

2010-10-07T21:29:00.000-04:00

WIllow is offering a free art course!

I actually just found her through other bloggers

and her ning site looks pretty awesome.

You should take a look,

the course starts on Oct 18th

While we are checking out online classes,

I can't reccomend Julie Prichard's classes enough.

Her new one Texture Town looks awesome.

I just have to find money!

Since I don't know how to embed youtube video,

click on the link below to watch a preview.

Julie and Chris: Texture Town

Linky Love

2010-10-05T21:34:00.000-04:00

Hi folks!

I am slowly working on some stuff,

but in the meantime, I thought I'd post some of my

favorite posts from other blogs I frequent :)

Barb at Craft Therapy

and

Janet at Just Me and My Art

talk about depression and art slumps.

Both of these topics I hold close to my heart.

I know the creative ride goes through its highs and lows,

but it can feel damaging, like it will never end.

Much like depression.

Trudi at Two Dresses Studio is doing an awesome project;

The Butterfly Effect. Go read and find out what it is.

I plan on doing it.

Are you an innerpreneur? (Click to find out!)

When you don't FEEL like being positive!

Creative Intentions at Courageously Creating

talks about Creativity and your health.

Hmm....there seems to be a theme in these links...

Hope you enjoy

Want to learn how to draw?

2010-09-29T21:46:00.000-04:00

If you've been reading this blog at all,

you'll notice that I am on a quest to learn how to draw.

I don't have any extra money right now, so I have checked out books

from the library, did some free online tutorials.

These all helped.

It has given me enough confidence to think that maybe

I can actually maybe do it!!!

But, I keep running up against problems.

Perspective. It is DIFFICULT.

I ran across the Wet Canvas Forums a few days ago.

Oh my god! The information there!!

The best thing? (Well, I think so anyway!)

The Drawing Classroom

It is an entire forum split up into lessons, each dedicated to their own thread.

Each class has its own downloadable PDF!

It is still an active forum, and the people running it

are informative and friendly.

I just started the first lesson today.

I printed out the first few lessons, and put them

in a handy dandy binder.

Just an example of how ALREADY it is helping me...

A kleenex box I drew a little over a week ago

The most frustrating part for me was I could not understand

how to get the angles right. It drove me batty! So I gave up.

The same Kleenex box, drawn tonight.

Ok, so there is still a lot wrong with it...hehe,

but it is in PERSPECTIVE.

Ahh, glorious!

I can't wait to join in on the discussion in these classes.

Some were started quite some time ago, but I'm not worried.

Will you come join?

Works in Progress

2010-09-26T18:29:00.000-04:00

I've spent the last week or two ruminating

on some ideas, and thinking about

how I want their final output to look like.

I'm still ruminating, but I have at least started

sketches!

Have a look see at my beginning stages.

You may notice each one is in a completely

different journal/paper type.

This is the biggest size, 9x12 I believe.

What hopefully will be a birthday present for my dad.

Inspired by a painting I saw in my boss's house whilst babysitting.

This little sketch (in my Sketchbook Project) was inspired by some

Sarah McLachlan lyrics.

I plan on using watercolor in some fashion.

And this little bugger is inspired by

my favorite little guy that I babysit for.

He likes Legos.

I hope this turns out as nicely as I have it pictured in my head.

I practiced the letter drawings on tracing paper,

an idea stolen from Andrea Joseph.

Except, if I were to transfer it onto the paper,

the letters would have been put on backwards!

DUH!

After some thought (I spent nearly two hours doing this...)

I decided to just cut the letters out and glue it right to the page.

It quickly answered what medium I was going to use;

Acrylics.

It would be hard to do watercolor or pen over gel mediumed

tracing paper.

Acrylics, I hope I still know how to use you!

As you may see, I'm still on the quest to

learn to draw.

Just keep practicing.

Stay tuned for (hopefully) some finished products.

ArtFest 2011: Should I do it?

2010-09-21T10:51:00.000-04:00

(logo borrowed from teeshamoore.com)

Should I do it?

Registration was due about 3 weeks ago, but it seems there are still spaces available.

Its SO expensive, and a $300 deposit is due with registration.

Its on the opposite side of the country.

I'd know no one.

It seems amazing and exciting and filled with lots of learning.

Watercolor Practice, drawing practice

2010-09-19T21:06:00.001-04:00

Ok, so this cloud picture has nothing to do with my post.

I just like it :)

I took it on the way back to VA from Kansas a few weeks ago.

I've had my hand in dabbling in a few different things:

I am enamored with watercolors at the moment,

I still want to practice developing my drawing skills,

I am still working (slowly) on my Sketchbook.

My poor art journal is very lonely,

but I know I will get back to it eventually.

Tonight I practiced and played with my watercolors.

I love the softness and flow of watercolors,
the way the colors just bleed into each other.
UPDATED: I want to make a note, that the paper I re-bound my sketchbook with
is Rives BK paper, which I believe is a printmaking paper.
It is so soft and smooth, but the way it takes watercolors is beyond stupendous.
The colors just melt into the paper effortlessly, mix and mingle.
Pure joy.
I also am trying to keep on working on my Sketchbook.

Not every page is a finished "piece."
I am documenting my Journey through this little art thing
I got going on; my take on In Flight.

I babysat my boss's kid last week,
and used that opportunity to practice some drawing skills.

The top picture I am trying to realistically draw some wood grain.
It takes patience and diligience!
You can see I gave up after awhile.
The second picture is something I sketched from
a painting hanging on my boss's wall.
I love her painting, and this is my take on it.
I have started a larger drawing
to turn into a painting of my own for my dad's upcoming birthday.
I just can't decide if I want to do watercolor or acrylics.
Hmmm....
Last, but not least...a little "doodle" practice.
I am a horrible, awful, no good, terrible doodler.
I can not just sit and let my mind wander and draw aimlessly.
I need ideas, patterns, something concrete.
So, I drew some doodles from all sorts of places for inspiration,
mainly flickr.

I do love sepia pens though :)

Playing in my art journal again

2010-09-12T22:59:00.000-04:00

And it feels wonderful

Playing with my watercolors.

I have been inspired (again) by Geninne's amazing watercolors.

There is so much to learn.

How does she make the colors swirl so gorgeously?

I also joined in on Michelle Ward's 44th Crusade.

I have painted by scraping with a card or palette knife

many times, but it was the perfect prompt

to get me back in my art journal.

What I started with:

pre-painted page and my scraping devices.

Many layers later, I ended up with this:

I scraped on paint,

sprayed water and dabbed off.

Scraped on more paint, dabbed water...

repeat.

At the end I added in some birdie masks

with some spray ink.

Now this page is just waiting for some journaling!

Next up was an art project with the kids I babysit for.

I love these kids, so last night I made them little

books out of recycled cereal boxes and extra moleskine paper

from my Sketchbook Project rebinding.

I decided it would be fun to have them design their own stamps,

and I would cut them out.

Max, who's 6, wrote out the "I love you Mama and Mommi"

How cute is that?!

It is such an EASY thing to do if you have kids.

I also think how it is a permanent reminder

of them stuck in time.

All I did was have them draw in pencil

whatever they wanted on tracing paper.

We then flipped over the paper onto the rubber,

gently rubbed the back of the paper to transfer the graphite,

and then drew over the design in Sharpie.

I cut out the stamps while they painted their book covers.

I love it.

MEGA Post

2010-09-09T23:28:00.000-04:00

Hello blogger friends!

I am back from KC, and have mostly finished

my pages that I worked on during my mini-vacation.

I actually brought my sketchbook with me

almost everywhere we went.

I was nervous.

This was the first time I've been exposed

in my art making.

Sure, I've posted stuff online,

but it isn't the same as actually doing it in front of people.

(hold those dirty thoughts!)

They are only my favorite people,

and yet I was almost embarassed.

What if they made fun of me for being an art dork?

What if they didn't like what I was doing?

What if they didn't even care?

Ahh!

Hello insecurities, nice to see you.

But, I did it.

I told them right off the bat that this sketchbook was

going to be traveling with me all weekend,

and it was ok.

Whew!

Now...onto the pictures.

Enjoy :)

This isn't finished yet.

I want to color the letters and finish coloring the plane

Detail.

I like trying to figure out the art of cross-hatching with a ballpoint

This spread isn't finished either.

The checkerboard needs to be colored in,

and on the right side, I need to finish the background coloring.

Close up.

Definitely my favorite shading with cross-hatching to date.

Oklahoma Joe's banner with some doodles (that need to be colored)

Apparently this is the #1 BBQ place in the US,

and #13 in the world, according to Anthony Bourdain.

Delicious food.

I saw this, and how can you NOT draw it!

We only went to the outdoor part of the museum

that had the gigantic shuttlecocks on display.

Yes, my friends and I went cuz its funny.

*insert dirty thoughts here*

Doing some slow journaling (a la Daisy Yellow)

from a relaxing day.

We played cards.

I really like this page.

True Story.

Creepy neighbor came into my friend's backyard

because we were screaming as we killed the world's GROSSEST SPIDER.

We told her that we were fine, we just killed a really big spider.

"How lame," she says...about 5 times.

The next day, we wake up to find 2 construction paper

spiders taped to the front door!!!!

HOW LAME!

Some pages aren't quite done, but I couldn't wait any longer to post.

I feel like I'm being a traitor and ignoring my art journal.

I also am already sad I'm going to have to give this

sketchbook up in January.

In Flight: A mini vacation

2010-09-02T15:50:00.000-04:00

Hey folks!

Me and my Sketchbook are flying off to Kansas

for an extended weekend with friends.

Oh, how I need this break from work.

I hope to come back refreshed and full of drawings from my Sketchbook.

But, probably not...because I will end up just enjoying

my time with friends.

I shall leave you with some new blogs that I've found recently.

Hope you enjoy :)

Lisa Lights a Fire: Awesome artwork/doodles

Journals and Sketchbooks: Exactly what it sounds like :)

Flora Bowley: Her blog is new, but her art...oh my. Gorgeous use of color

Louise Gale: Another feast for the eyes

Sue Doodles: Dooldle-icious

First 3 pages of The Sketchbook

2010-08-29T00:03:00.000-04:00

I F-I-N-A-L-L-Y started on my Sketchbook!

That little blurred out bit is my blog address,

which is for my family.

I don't want everyone in my family seeing this blog.

This is the first page.

I debated long and hard on how I wanted to use the theme In Flight.

I eventually came up with the idea

of how a tiny (not so pretty) caterpillar

transforms itself into a beautiful and colorful butterfly.

I feel as if I'm that little caterpillar

and hope to one day become a butterfly;

through my art.

Oh, how I worked ALL DAY on this!

There is still a lot wrong with it,

but you know what?

I think I've come quite a ways

from just a month or two ago in my drawing abilities.

I'm proud of what I did!

I hope you all enjoy this journey I'm on.

Practice, Practice, Practice!!

2010-08-25T21:23:00.000-04:00

I'm still hooked on trying to learn how to draw.

I am learning to overcome my fear of not being able to draw,

of letting my little brother's talents

overpower any thought of mine.

There is SO much wrong with these.

Drawing circles is hard...

drawing circles in proportion and scale and perspective...

so difficult.

I am determined to keep trying,

I also re-bound my Sketchbook for The Sketchbook Project

This is my 4th book to stitch together...

and it does get easier and better

These stitches are almost straight!

and somewhat tight!

Woo!

Projects Galore

2010-08-22T21:47:00.000-04:00

I have multiple projects going on right now,

and glad for all the distraction.

Project #1: Rebinding The Sketchbook for the sketchbook project.

The papers are so thin! Worse than composition paper.

There is no way I could work like that.

I have been struggling trying to come up with ideas

for my theme, "In Flight."

The website says that it is just a jumping off point,

but Eden's posts on her sketchbook has made me think hard.

I have thought about "In Flight" and it eventually

brought me to a journey.

That is what I feel like I'm on.

I constantly want to try new things, experiment,

so I think I'm going to document it in the sketchbook

and then send it off for the world to see!

Ahh!

I am cutting down papers to put in the Moleskine.

It says you can do 5.5x8.5, but 8.5" was too long,

so I kept it at 8". A little short, but not too bad.

Project #2: Color Journal

I've seen on a few blogs of people keeping

a color journal.

I've thought about it, but always put it off.

I decided to do one, because there are so many color combinations

and inspiration. I found much of it in the Art Journaling magazines,

but also in other magazines,nature, tv shows. Its everywhere!

This way, if I am ever stumped on color,

I can be inspired!

Project #3: Blurb.com photo book

This has been really hard for me to get going on

InDesign is harder than I thought to use,

and I just want it to look GOOD, NOW!

Is that so hard to ask?

On top of that, I keep on painting in my art journal.

What do YOU want?

2010-08-19T22:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, my dear readers.

All five of you :)

I've been trying to think of ways

to liven this blog up!

What would YOU like to see?

Is there something that piques your interest

that you would like me to explore further?

Colors? Layers? Techniques?

Am I too depressing?

If so...tell me :)

So if you are a faithful reader (haha!)

or just happened to pop on by,

please comment and let me know what you think.

Every comment makes me smile,

and that connectedness is what life is all about.

(I figure a picture of a cute kitty can't hurt)

Who's saving you?

2010-08-18T00:37:00.000-04:00

Last night, lying in bed I was thinking about life.

How, in those moments where you feel like

you are sinking...

Who saves you?

Finished Journal Page and some Link Love

2010-08-16T11:58:00.002-04:00

Finally I am back to my normal routine!

I was away for vacation, and then came back

to go house/dog-sit until Saturday evening.

My hands have been itching to be back in my "studio."

I did cheat, and came home one evening to paint

a journal page because I had THAT bad of a day.

My lovely, wonderful, supportive Aunt sent me

a Rumi poem, and I just knew it needed to be made

into a journal page.

This is the beginning layers...

finished product

My new favorite thing is to add a layer of paint,

spritz water on top...let it sit for a few seconds,

and then wipe.

Repeat until you want to stop!

This particular piece has about 7 different layers of colors

painted on, wiped off...and so on.

I recently have come across some really awesome

and inspiring blogs that I thought I'd share.

I try to keep my blogroll updated...but sometimes its hard.
UPDATE: LINKS FIXED!

Tortagiella: This is just a fun blog to read. She is bursting at the seams with creativity,

and shows many tutorials on book binding.

Art Journaling Ning: A great website with tons of workshops,

journalers, discussions and photos. I always

find inspiring work and artists through this site.

If anyone knows of an easy way to make my pictures

the correct size (less than 100kb), PLEASE let me know!

I edit my pictures in photoshop, and they are way too large.

Art Journaling Tumblr: This person posts photos and links

to what journal artists she enjoys. ALWAYS inspiring

The Creative Entrepreneur: I love her work! She is working

on a really awesome project right now, and gives lots

of advice for any fellow introverts.

My Peacetree: Ingrid does amazing work,

and it is so authentic, beautiful and comes from the soul.

Flora Bowley: I just found her website, and her artwork

and vision is just incredible. She's a new blogger,

but I promise you'll be hooked!

Making your own stencils

2010-08-15T07:51:00.001-04:00

I haven't made a stencil of my own in quite some time.

Its a super easy way to add your own design

and style into your art journaling.

All you need is some thin plastic,

(Walmart and Michael's also sell stencil blanks)

a piece of glass, an exacto knife (I use a stencil cutting tool)

some tracing paper and a black marker.

I decided to go for a diamond pattern,

and traced one from a piece of scrapbook paper I had left over.

Tip: Use a ruler for geometric objects!

After going through a couple of rows

and realizing that my lines were uneven,

I busted out a ruler and it made it MUCH easier.

Once you've transferred the pattern onto tracing paper,

color it in/outline it with black marker.

This step is VERY important, because

otherwise you will be squinting to see the design through

the piece of glass and the plastic.

Once I colored in my pattern, it was time to cut!

Tip: Always leave space between the designs

I've made the mistake a few times

when cutting stencils of just going to town

cutting out the outline, and forgetting that

when you make a stencil you need a little bit of plastic

to stay in between the different shapes, otherwise

it will all come out and you will be left with a big hole!

Next you put the piece of glass over the tracing paper

and the stencil film on top and cut away!

I made lots of mistakes, and my pattern

isn't perfect. This probably would have been

a better task for just a ruler and an exacto knife.

This is drafting film and really thin.

Oh well, live and learn :)

And because its on my desk, a journal page from

The Big Journal in progress

Stress Relief

2010-08-12T18:03:00.001-04:00

I had an even worse day at work yesterday,

and even though I'm house/dog-sitting

I made it a point to go home and paint.

Oh, glorious stress relief.

Lots of layers

Lots of emotional purging

It is weird being emotional.

I have spent my entire life avoiding feelings,

and now that they are joining the party

I can't say I like it very much!

I have two aunts who are just amazing people.

I've started opening up to them more

the past few months, and I couldn't

ask for my supportive people in my life.

My one aunt might actually get mad at me

if I don't ever try to sell my artwork!

Their support right now is what puts

a smile on my face,

and for that I will be forever grateful.

My aunt sent me this quote today, and it is so perfect

You think you are alive

Because you breathe air?

Shame on you, that you are alive

In such a limited way.

Don't be without Love,

So you won't feel dead.

Die in Love and stay alive forever

~Rumi

The Sketchbook is Here!

2010-08-10T19:42:00.000-04:00

This was the highlight of my day.

You ever have those days/weeks/months(in my case)

where you can't possibly imagine how you will be

able to stand somehow living for the next X amount of years?

The last few months at work have been so very stressful.

I've not cried so much in meetings as I have been.

Not cool.

I feel like maybe I am not management material.

I don't seem to be training my people well,

am ALWAYS struggling with scheduling

(god i hate it)

and hiring. Ugh.

How can I be expected to move upwards in

the company if I can't manage my pithy little 4 person staff?

I don't know.

Most of the time I want to just give up.

Not get out of bed the next day and go to work.

Not stress all the time.

Not feel like I am not doing the job well.

I like my job, but there is new management

and changing how we operate greatly.

I like the management too,

but I feel like I can't handle it all.

I don't know what to do

and I don't want it to send me spiraling down

and down again.

I have projects on the horizon,

like The Sketchbook Project

and I am supposed to be working on making a book

from blurb.com for my family.

Yet it all seems like so much work.

Back from a lovely vacation!

2010-08-05T18:08:00.000-04:00

I vacationed up in the Adirondack Mountains (Long Lake)

with my family.

So lovely.

Relaxing.

Fun.

Laughter (LOTS of it!)

Swimming.

Boating.

Tubing.

I am back with a few more days off

until the work week begins.

The view from our dock

Not so bad, eh?

View from the front porch.

It was a much needed break,

and now my batteries are recharged

and hopefully some creative flow.

Pushed by some of my favorite bloggers,

Hanna and Gennine are joining in to the

Click here to find out more.

Basically you pay $25 to receive a Moleskine Cahier (?)

in the mail, with your own barcode attached to it.

You have until January 15th, 2011 to fill your book

and mail it back. They have many themes to choose from

(though some are already filled up),

and I chose In Flight.

It seemed appropriate,

I am on a journey, a flight to reach a destination.

Destination: Unknown

I just know I need to keep following this path.

Plus my wonderfully supportive Aunts and Nonni

tell me that I need to get my art out to the world.

I love them, but find it hard to really believe.

My sketchbook (which I haven't received yet)

will be filled with doodles, paint, words, drawings

that describe this flight I'm on.

I don't know where it will take me,

just like I have no idea where I am going.

I am excited!

30 Journals 30 Days

2010-07-27T21:01:00.000-04:00

Connie from Dirty Footprints Studio

has been doing "30 Journals for 30 Days"

during the month of July.

She chose various art journals from all skill levels

and asked them all the same questions.

It was WONDERFUL to get more in-depth with

some of my favorite journalers

and find new favorites.

I was sad that the end of July was coming,

thus the end of 30 Journals 30 days.

Lo and Behold, Connie extended her love

for everyone!

She is allowing us to answer her questions ourselves,

and on Saturday she will add them to her Link on her website.

How generous and thoughtful.

Though, in deciding to participate in this

I realized I have to actually dig deep to answer these questions.

I generally not a fan of that,

but that is the path I am on.

I want to figure myself out.

I want to live authentically.

I want to believe in myself.

I think I am on the right path with my newfound

love of art journaling.

Without further ado,

here is my interview with myself.

How long have you been Art Journaling?
I started about a year ago (almost exactly!). I ran into Julie Prichard's blog somehow, and my life changed.
How has Art Journaling impacted, changed, or enhanced your life?
I want to say it has changed me deeply, or profoundly. It seems to for so many other people. For me, it has given me something to be excited about again. I had been depressed for many, many years, but just didn't realize it. I just thought it was who I was. I haven't felt true joy/happiness for years, but I also haven't felt the soul-sucking despair that I have felt in the past. I guess I lived numb. It is something I am still working on, but for the first time in close to 6 years, I am truly looking forward to something. Truly excited. It feels weird.
I'm rambling. What this is leading to, is how art journaling has helped bring me out of that. I found something that keeps me excited, itching to come home and learn. Play. Despite many times I don't like what comes out, I keep forging ahead. A year later, and I still want to do this. I don't know if it will go anywhere, but I do believe it is better for my mental health
What are a few of your favorite Art Journaling materials?
I guess it depends on what I am currently into. For drawing purposes, I LOVE Micron pens. They are permanent, have all different sizes and are just lovely to work with. Paints. Julie Prichard introduced me to Golden Fluid Acrylics and I never looked back. They are bright and vivid. A little does go a long way.
Who are some of your favorite Art Journalers?
Ok. I have TOO MANY to put in here. Really, just look at my blogroll...There are so many people than inspire me; from illustrators to designers to painters to other newbie art journalers...
What kind words of encouragement would you say to an Art Journal newbie?
If you have any inkling to put paint to the paper, doodle, draw, sew...don't let that stupid inner critic in. I know. I spent all my life being jealous of my little brother because he holds all the talent in the family. He can draw amazing things. He can paint. He is the creative one. I can barely draw a stick figure! Starting an art journal was a painless transition into creativity. If I tried and messed up, no one needed to see. Turns out that my love of color (Favorite color? ROY G BIV!) is so much fun translating into smearing paint around a page. If any interest is sparked, DO IT!
Where can we contact you...give us some link LOVE!!
Well, since you are at my blog...I don't need to give you that ;) I do have a Flickr account though!
Short Bio.

My name is Dawn, and I hail from Upstate NY and have been living in Charlottesville, VA for the past 5.5 years. I have a cat named Jack, and just am trying to figure myself and life out.

Art Journal page inspired by a 6 year old

2010-07-27T19:21:00.001-04:00

Baby sitting this past weekend,

we decided to paint some wooden boxes.

I sat back and watched in delight

as he poured paint on,

spreading around whatever colors

he liked.

Ignoring color theory,

or any sort of "rules"

he just enjoyed putting paint down.

So refreshing.

A wonderful reminder to

paint with abandon.

I am leaving for my vacation up to the Adirondacks

on Friday!!!!

(!!!!!!!)

I can NOT wait to relax.

Canoe, go on boat rides, lay on the beach,

go on hikes, read, paint, journal.

Take lots of pictures.

Sounds like heaven, doesn't it?

I hope so!

I hope I come back with lots of inspiration.

Check back at the end of next week for an update!

How I made my travel journal!

2010-07-25T16:02:00.000-04:00

Inspired by Hanna's sweet Egypt travel journal

and Lori's amazing Coptic-Bound journals,

I decided since I am actually taking a V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

this year, I'd make myself a journal!

Just a warning now: This will be a long post!
I haven't been on a real vacation in a very long time.
Not since 2007.
My dad's side of the family goes to the Adirondacks every year,
and I haven't been since 1999...right before I left for college.
Life got in the way. School. Graduation. The Real World.
Isolation. Depression...you know :)
ANYWAY, my family all made an (unspoken) decision
this year to go. My Uncle was sick,
and we knew it would probably be the last time we'd
get to all be together as a family.
Sadly, he didn't make it.

This is the last time I saw him,
right before they told us about his cancer diagnosis,
back in October.
He made it 7 months.
Cancer is a cruel, cruel thing.
I love this picture of my aunt and uncle.

Ok. Enough sadness.
We all decided we would still be going this year,
and inspired by Hanna's awesome travel journal
and Lori's awesome coptic journal-making style,
I thought I'd make one of my own.
A combination of this website, and a YouTube video,
I sort of made a coptic bound journal.
By sort of, I mean not really.
It doesn't really look like it is supposed to
and there are TONS of mistakes.
It is my first one, so oh well.

I already had all the supplies I needed
from Julie Prichard's class:
An awl, or hole punching device
A bone folder (or any straight edge)
exacto/box cutting knife
Paper
Thread (I have waxed thread from papersource.com)
Needle (18 gauge)
Glue (I use PVA glue, but really Elmers would work)
Book Board or Cardboard for the covers

First thing I did was figure out what size
I wanted my journal to be.

I knew I wanted it smaller,
so I just cut my paper into what size looked good to me.
I cut 16 pieces of paper,
scrapbook, watercolor, hand-painted, graph...
at 7x10.5 inches.
Folded in half is 7x5.25.
Perfect!
Next step is the above picture.
Fold the papers in half.
Put together your "signatures,"
aka: pieces of paper stacked inside each other.
I did 4 signatures, with 4 pieces of paper in each one

Next, cut the book board (or cardboard) to size,
just slightly larger (about 1/4 inch around)
than your papers.
Above picture is my signatures and book board
(with holes punched)

.I then covered the book board
with masa paper,
or any thin and durable paper.

I made the paper about 1/2 extra on each side.
Glue paper on.
Fold the sides in pretty, like wrapping a gift.
Decorate your paper if you'd like.

Next, you need to punch the holes
in each signature, and the cover.
They MUST be evenly spaced
for the thread not to get all crazy and screwy on you.
The easiest way is to make a template
to punch the holes in.
This is where awl comes in handy.
Maybe you can follow the instructions
from the website and the YouTube better than I.
While my finished product is one I enjoy,
its so not as good as it can/should be.

Though, the book does lay flat,
which is really why I wanted to try this method.

You can see all the different
pages are all meshed in here.
I lOVE it.
Each page is a little different,
and hopefully will tell me
how I should journal my trip.

This is what the inside of the covers look like.
I made a little mosaic of all my papers,
and painted a glaze over top to
try and unify it.
Also, a (non) helpful, but not necessary step
is if your pet tries to join in the fun.

Jack tried really hard to help me
get the supplies I needed.
Unfortunately, with the lack of opposable thumbs,
he just couldn't make do.
So he decided to dig out my bubble wrap
and fall asleep.

Its hard being a cat in this house.

Drawing Practice

2010-07-21T22:29:00.000-04:00

I have been one of those people

who SWEAR up and down they can't draw.

I still will tell you that.

I will tell you how awesome my brother is,

and I was the one shorted in the creativity department.

But, boosted in some self-confidence that I can

be creative, just in a different way,

I decided I wanted to learn how to draw.

It can only help, right?

Plus, I was inspired by Andrea's (AMAZING)

drawing skills, so I have been

drawing a little every day.

A few minutes here and there at work,

a little at home.

I've borrowed some books from the library.

I must say, I am pleased so far.

Not because anything is good

but because I am continuing to try.

Bear with me as I post some of my efforts!

My white balance is so off in all these photos!

It is all the same moleskine, I just suck

at making sure they all look the same ;)

This is to basically show you how

much I need to learn.

hahaha!

This is me trying to draw my feet

(as I lay on the couch)

by drawing what I see.

There truly is a disconnect

between what you think you see,

and what there really is.

Plus, perspective and angles and curves

are all so HARD for me!

And shading.

Tonight, I tried to draw my eyes.

They look nothing like me,

but as eyes overall,

I don't think they are TOO bad.

The right eye looks surprised/scared

and the left eye looks sort of sad.

What do you think that says about

my mental health?

haha!

Finally sat down and painted

2010-07-17T16:13:00.000-04:00

Whew!

I was beginning to worry that i would never

feel like art journaling/painting again!

Even after I put in all that hard work

to re-do my room and dedicate

a bigger space and more organization

to my art area, I did nothing.

I sat and stared at its beauty

and organization for a full week.

Then my co-worker inspired me.

So I picked up the paint brush,

sat at my desk,

and got out the anxiety and worries

from the past few weeks that have been plaguing me.

I hope you enjoy!

What anxiety looks like to me.

Messy.

Lots of layers, and almost all fingerpainting here.

I thought I'd try it out, and it seemed fitting

for the feelings going into it.

Lots of layers and scratches.

The words are from a David Gray song:

"My oh my, it just don't stop.

My mind, I want to tear it up.

I try to fight it,

try to turn it off."

The calm after the storm.

This has many layers of blue paints

mixed in there, painted with a palette knife

and a sponge brush.

I carved that little Buddha stamp,

cute isn't it?

Now only if my mind could focus

on the tranquility that envelopes me

when I am not plagued by worry.

PS: I used so many more of my supplies

when I had everything organized,

in its own space,

and easily accessible.

Before, it all was shoved on my desk

and mostly crammed in my bookshelf.

It was not conducive to art making.

When everything is messy and disorganized,

it takes a lot of effort to use it.

When we are in the midst of our flow,

we don't want to mess it up by having to root

through all our crap, do we?

I'm so glad I put in that work,

because so far it has paid off!

Michelle Ward: Strip Ease

2010-07-13T20:46:00.000-04:00

In the midst of my room redo,

I came up with a fun idea to try

out Michelle Ward's new Crusade.

Another simple, yet fun plan.

Tear your favorite papers,

and put them in a journal.

My little storage bins I bought looked like

it could use some decoration.

Starting out....it is cathartic to

get my hands messy and gluey and

just lay papers down.

All done!

Hope you enjoyed.

Finished new art room

2010-07-13T20:40:00.001-04:00

Lots of pictures here.

It took me much longer to get my bedroom re-done.

Mainly because it took me two entire days

to put together wall shelves.

My rockin' music area,

and an un-cluttered shelf!

Two Days: Two wall shelves built

2010-07-11T21:27:00.000-04:00

Oh man.

It took an ENTIRE weekend,

two phone calls to dad,

another trip to Lowes

(that was unnecessary)

to put up two shelves

that should have taken

half an hour.

30 minutes.

Yep.

It took me longer to figure this s**t out

than to build a DESK!

After a hot bath,

and a glass of bourbon,

I can finally relax a little.

I have a sore neck and back,

but am SO glad its done.

Ignore those holes on the bottom of the top shelf.

I only tried to put it in 3 different times.

Turns out that I do NOT have drywall,

which is why no drywall anchor worked.

Apparently my wall is made of plaster?

My dad figured that out.
Over the phone.

Aren't dad's the best?

My little art corner is slowly shaping up.

My pretty little guy, Jack, loves this desk

so close to the windowsill.

Being a kitty is hard work.

Stay tuned for Strip Ease: Michelle Ward's Crusade

Frustrated!

2010-07-10T22:30:00.000-04:00

I'm still working on the re-doing of my room,

and today's main plan was to install

the two wall shelves I bought,

and then clean up and start organizing.

I started that at 2.

It is now 10pm, and I

DID

NOT

FINISH

ONE

SHELF.

I don't understand!

First, I screwed

the screws in the wall.

Without the backplate that you put the shelf on.

Second, I have these plastic

drywall anchors, similar to these

that I am supposed to affix to the wall.

Ok.

After some time, I managed to screw the

backplate to the wall with those damn things.

Except, it wasn't flush to the wall...

I had the long part against the wall (horizontally),

and thought maybe I put the screw

in backwards...maybe the horizontal side

goes against the back plate.

So I un-screwed the entire thing,

re-did it.

IT WAS EVEN WORSE.

Still shaky because its not

against the wall,

and because I can't put the damn

screws in straight.

Plus, both times

the shelf leaned forward,

so anything slides off.

I AM SO ANGRY!

I spent ALL day

trying to do ONE of two shelves.

I want them on my wall, dammit!

HELP?

Phase 2 in Room/Studio Makeover

2010-07-08T20:51:00.000-04:00

A post in pictures!

I got sidetracked by another project tonight,

so it looks like Phase 3, the

Decorating and Organizing Phase

must wait until this weekend!

Enjoy :)

This is where my side project emerged.

I realized I needed a new chair, because the one I had

was too short.

I thought a stool would be perfect.

Phase 2 Complete in Room Makeover

2010-07-08T02:22:00.000-04:00

Two full evenings later...

my desk is built.

I finished at MIDNIGHT

tonight, after working since 5pm, with

a minor break to watch

So You Think You Can Dance.

I am now just winding down

hours later

(I can't bear to look at a clock right now)

and it hurts to type because

my fingers are so sore

from putting in about 10 million

screws.

For not being a handy person

I must say I am VERY proud that I put together

this rather large desk.

I didn't think about assembling it

before I bought it. I just went "looks good!"

lol.

Looks like maybe I should have thunk ahead.

This probably could have taken

a normal person maybe 3 hours...

and it took me a total of like 11.

Haha!

Pictures will come tomorrow,

and then Phase 3 Begins!

The part where you get to organize

and decorate.

That is my favorite part!

I'm so tired and have be up at work in entirely too few hours.

Room Makeover!

2010-07-05T22:49:00.001-04:00

I realized today that its been about two months

since I've done any art in my bedroom/studio.

I have taken over the kitchen table

Now I don't feel so bad about doing my

artwork on my kitchen table, because

I can watch our GIGANTIC tv from

the kitchen. (My roommate works for an electronics company :))

Except, my art has spilled out into the living room floor too.

Woops.

What can I say, I need SPACE to do what I need!

Except this apartment isn't mine alone.

My roommate is my best friend.

We have lived together almost 6 years,

known each other for 11.

So, we have a good relationship,

but I think I have pushed her last button with

all my art supplies all over the place :)

Today I thought that if I got a bigger desk,

I'd be able to spread out more.

Of course, buying a new desk

led to me buying cute little storage bins,

and then of course to re-arrange my entire

bedroom/"studio".

You know how that goes!

Bedroom view from my doorway before...

(and not cleaned up either!)

View from the other side of my bedroom.

ACK! A MESS!

And this is the state it is in NOT in use.

hehehehe

Close-up on desk.

Next part: Phase 1: Project Move Furniture.

3 and a half hours later....this is where I am

View from my doorway.

Say hello to Fergy!

I moved my bed to the center of the room,

and plan on placing my desk near/in front of the window.

I've always wanted to have natural light at my desk.

Close up on the "art corner"

That trash bag?

Full of my paints/inks/mediums/paint brushes..mmmm...

I LOVE the little storage bins with fabric bins in them,

found at Target!

You can't really tell...

but there is a LOT of constructing

needed to put together this desk.

I can barely hammer a nail straight.

No joke.

Phase 2: Project Want to Die While I Make a Desk

will commence

tomorrow night :)
Check out all the trash...
I am not even a pack rat,
and yet, when you move stuff around,
you always end up with lots of trash.
I love it!

Oh, and I definitely needed this tonight:
(this shotglass was bought especially for me,
because I'm so short. My friends think it is HYSTERICAL!)

Happy Independence Day!

2010-07-04T16:30:00.000-04:00

Hope all you (Americans)

enjoyed your day of freedom

All over the place

2010-06-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

Over the past week or two,

I've had no desire to pick up the paintbrush.

I kinda feel guilty about it,

but the call to draw mandalas

and doodle,

and experiment with different medias

have been too much fun.

I can't ignore that, can I?

Want to take a look at what I've been doing?

I have been practicing my drawing (there are so many great step by step tutorials online!)
in my moleskine...pen for size.

The beginning stages of a zebra.
Definitely the hardest thing I've tried.
Go to www.drawspace.com for free drawing lessons.

I've had fun trying out random shapes
and doodles,
playing with my sparkly gel pens;
revived from the dead!

I just bought a UniBall Signo white pen...
and oh, people were NOT lying when they
ranted and raved about how awesome it is.
It flows spectacularly,
is bright and just POPS against dark color.
Love.

Next up was my BIG journal.
I painted the background black,
and at first tried to use colored pencils.
I don't think they are supposed to color over shiny, acrylic paint.
Ok.
I tried my Neocolor Crayons.
YES.
I doodled some mandalas.

So I went out to Michael's,
and bought some black cardstock.
Oh, colored pencils worked on that!
I got bored and kinda gave up on it though :)

Should I settle down and find my niche?
I think, eventually.
But this is all along the journey of finding myself,
and for the first time...ever...
I can say that it feels good.

A Thank You Note

2010-06-27T16:50:00.000-04:00

All the wonderful comments I get on this blog

make me smile.

Every single time.

I may not comment back on everyone,

but know that when I get that e-mail

I grin, knowing that someone cared enough

to respond to my art.

You all have helped me get through

some tough times,

and helped me keep going when I have

not felt like I could, or should.

I can't thank you enough.

You all help me

keep on keepin' on

Michelle Ward's Crusade and another mandala!

2010-06-25T22:11:00.000-04:00

Hey folks!

I'm glad to be back on with electricity.

Yesterday afternoon a insane thunder storm

came whipping through town,

knocking 45,000 people out of power.

It has been in the mid 90s (before the heat index),

so the lack of Air-Conditioning wasn't fun.

But the power came back on today and I am back

to basking in light and internet and AC.

I have been working steadily over the past

few days on a new BIGGER mandala.

I have been trying them out in my tiny moleskine,

but decided to try it out in my big journal.

The first one was a disaster,

so for the second one I decided to bust out

my compass and ruler.

I am a fan of symmetry.

I punched it up with some watercolor.

There really is something so soothing in the repetitive

drawing of simple shapes, and so far I really love the outcome!

Its one of those things that looks harder than it is.

Seriously, I can't draw AT ALL.

On a different note, I decided to jump back into

Michelle's Crusades. I love her ideas and techniques,

and I'm glad to have the inspiration back.

Her challenge this month was simple: Gridlock

Make a grid in your art journal.

This goes along with my analytical/linear mind.

I love grids and tiny details.

For this challenge, I cut up some of my

spray-painted papers that I have been hoarding.

Why is it that when you cut up papers to smaller sizes

they seem more fascinating and awesome?

I like the end result, but it sat for a few days.

It needs something else, but that something else

never came to me.

Maybe one day!

More Mandala Happiness

2010-06-20T18:58:00.000-04:00

I am in Mandala-creating mode lately!

I like parts of this mandala...and parts I am "meh" about.

It is all part of the learning process, right?

I really like this one.

I used a compass to make it more symmetrical

and really like the result.

I am also working on Michelle Ward's Crusade #40:

Gridlocked. I feel like I am starting to

jump back in the world of art making,

and boy it does feel nice.

It is also fun to see inspiration everywhere!

Stay tuned for my next post on Michelle's Crusade!

Mandala Happiness

2010-06-17T23:47:00.000-04:00

I have long been inspired by people

who can draw the most gorgeous mandalas

(check out this flickr group)

I have been researching them over the past few weeks,

as I haven't wanted to create art

except on my couch.

I figured a pen and this cute little moleskine I just bought

would probably be ok to do on the couch.

As pretty as they can be,

it seems many people were going on about how

soothing it was to make them.

Therapeutic, even.

I need as much therapy as I can get! haha

I also am a "struggling" doodler.

It doesn't come all that naturally to me,

and I figured that if I keep trying to draw

mandalas, maybe it will loosen me up.

So, here is my first serious one I tried.

See? Tiny!

At first I just felt frustrated that I suck at trying to think

about what to draw next.

My mind is amazing at going blank when I

force it to think about the next step.

After awhile, I realized that it IS

soothing to create a shape and

just go around in a circle and repeat it.

I think I am a believer

More Watercolor Fun!

2010-06-13T18:20:00.000-04:00

Well I must be feeling better,

as this is the third post in a week!

I'm still in the "I want to play in my living room"

mode, so it is my pad of paper

and watercolors it is.

This piece was done over a few evenings.

All I did was put my favorite colors down

and watch the colors blend and do their own thing.

I realized that I love blues and purples

and reds and oranges.

Basically the primary colors, mixed.

How ordinary.

The close up picture most closely represents

the vivid and brightness of the colors.

It is hard to take a picture of my paintings.

I couldn't put the 11x15 paper in my

homemade light box,

so I had to make do with my desk light.

It was fun working on a larger piece of paper.

Maybe one day I will get courage to unwrap

those large canvases I have :)

On another note, a family I baby-sit for

gave me a gift card to Barnes and Noble (they are awesome),

so after hemming and hawing I decided to purchase

Susan Tuttle's photography has

always been something I've admired.

I've had Photoshop for a long time but never have

really known how to do such creative and awesome

editing as she does.

I'm excited to learn!

Finding beauty in the ordinary

2010-06-10T22:00:00.001-04:00

I had some free time in between appointments today,

and walked around downtown

armed with my iphone.

This is what I found.

Just feel like doodling

2010-06-07T23:26:00.001-04:00

My poor, poor art desk.

It has gotten no love in so long.

I sunk into a depression hole,

and when I started climbing out of it,

my uncle passed away.

It has been a rough few months,

but I think and hope that I am out of the worst of it.

I still don't have much energy for sitting down

at my desk and really working on a painting.

But, I have been trying to play

with my watercolors

(I can lay on the living room floor with those!)

and just doodling.

I really really loved this one...until I marked in the black

rain/tear drops.

Oh well, I still like it...I like the colors

and drips.

Just trying to get a feel on how to use

my watercolors.

Such a different beast than acrylics!

Created tonight in honor of my Uncle

The colors are a little washed out in this photos.

All I did was put the paint down, let it dry

and found shapes for the drawing.

These were fun! I babysit for a family on Sundays,

and a few Sundays ago I brought in an art project for them to do.

You put down masking tape on a piece of paper

and color around it.

Simple and easy.

I can see how this could turn into fun exploration

of negative space.

Experimenting with Watercolors

2010-05-30T13:25:00.000-04:00

First off: Thank you so much for your support

I took everyone's advice and just created.

I surrounded myself with my favorite supplies

(that can be done in front of the tv...not ready to paint yet)

I was inspired by Daisy Yellow

GO!

Check out her blog!

Its awesome!

(Seriously)

and her Cityscapes, so I decided to just doodle.

I created some rectangles and tried to free my mind.

I am making a concerted effort to try and doodle more,

because I suck at it!

It is getting easier to just draw whatever comes to mind

I didn't think it would

I scoffed that I could let myself just go.

Well, I was wrong :)

It does get easier the more you do it

Next, I experimented with my watercolors

I've had them for awhile, but always went to the acrylic paint.

Truth be told, watercolors intimidate me

Last night I decided (with everyone's kind words in my mind)

to just put the paint to the paper.

I have much to learn, but it was FUN

Yay :)

Finding the meaning

2010-05-28T21:06:00.000-04:00

I know that I've been struggling

the past few months.

Minus the painting I made my family,

I haven't painted or created much of anything.

Now I find myself questioning all of this.

I ALWAYS get excited about something,

immerse myself in it, and then it just tapers off.

I was so happy when months passed

and I was still excited and happy

to be creating "art."

I found inspiration in blogs, nature, books.

I wanted to learn more, expand my wings.

I even thought maybe one day I would find myself

through art.

Maybe this is where I wanted to carve a niche for my life.

A tiny, tiny light let in a dark tunnel.

Now I am afraid it was all silly.

A game I was telling myself.

I am average, always have been.

I am not doing anything exceptional, or anything that matters.

What to do?

RIP Uncle Mike

2010-05-20T22:04:00.002-04:00

My uncle passed away monday night

due to pancreatic cancer.

He got diagnosed in October.

He was doing so well with chemo,

and then he wasn't...and slid down hill rapidly.

He and my aunt have been married longer than I've been alive
and I have two amazing cousins.

I can't fathom their pain,

and it breaks my heart.

I am driving up to NY to be with them this weekend..

I love you, Aunt Deb, Annabeth and Joshie.

This painting is for them

"You will always be with me, like a handprint on my heart"

Still here

2010-05-17T19:31:00.001-04:00

Hi, friends.

I'm still here, but still struggling.

I've pulled out my pens for some aimless

doodling (something that does NOT come natural to me),

but thats about it. I think my desk is dusty.

It still is taking all my effort

to go to work each day.

My uncle has advanced pancreatic cancer,

and is in a medically induced coma.

He is not expected to make it through the week.

I am so, so sad.

For my aunt, for my cousins.

For my family.

Update: Uncle Mike passed away tonight.
I have no words for the sadness.
Love to my family

Like Quicksand

2010-05-01T19:29:00.000-04:00

This is how I am feeling lately,

like I am dragging my body through quicksand

just to make it through work.

I have no energy or desire to do anything creative.

I hit a low last night after a very long and

stressful day at work.

I hope I can make i through the next

month or so.

I hope you lovely blog friends will

still be here if I ever get out of this

hole i'm in.

Inspiration "Shopping" and other things

2010-04-25T12:45:00.000-04:00

Hello my blogging friends!

So I still am in a painting rut...I just can't make myself sit down and paint,

so I decided to try doing other things for the time being.

Remember how I was SO E-X-C-I-T-E-D

(a la Jessie from Saved by the Bell)

about Hanna's recent posts on how she makes her own book

through blurb.com? WELL, I am going to do one!

I floundered for a few days on what I should do.

My life is pretty boring, and I don't have much to doucment

other than Jack,

(this is him last night sleeping next to me while I worked)

I'm relationship phobic, an introvert, and only have one good friend in town.

But, as I thought about the photographs I do take,

I realized I like to walk around Charlottesville and

take lots of fun close-ups, details of life.

Lightbulb moment!

I bought two books to help me along this path:

Indesign for Dummies and

Design Elements: A Graphics Style Manual

Indesign is relatively self-explanatory,

as I want to make this book through it.

But I have slowly realized that I LOVE

design...I can stare at good design forever

and drool. So why not learn more?

Last night I made little proof sheets of what

I wanted to put in my book photographic-wise

and sent them off to Kinkos.

(My brand new, not cheap, Lexmark printer sucks...why does this always happen?)

Today, while at work, (UGGGHHH)

I plan on reading these glorious books

and start figuring out my layouts for each page.

This is a daunting task. I'm just a LITTLE scared!

Yesterday though, I decided to go window shopping,

to try and get myself out of the rut, and be inspired.

I grabbed my camera and headed down to Anthropolgie

for the first.time.ever...and also happened to find

the CUTEST little store too!! Eep!

I felt sort of like a criminal taking pictures...it was very nerve-wracking!

I love the colors and the pattern here!

I am realizing that teal is SO one of my favorite colors.

Too bad its everywhere.

Little pieces of hardware for cabintetry!

I can't wait to own my own place and REALLY drool over this stuff

Hand-dyed books...oh my, I love it

I found this wall painted where I was shopping,

and the wood was peeling and crackling.

So beautiful, huh?

Have a wonderful Sunday,

and maybe I will paint again someday.

Still Struggling

2010-04-21T20:46:00.000-04:00

I can't tell if I am just in the "ebb" part of

art-making ebb and flow...

or if I am still fighting against the tide.

I have been painting a little bit lately,

but rather uninspired. I get some color

down here and there, and then lose interest

and inspiration.

The orange spread is done, and yellow mostly...but they have been
sitting there for weeks, and I'm still not loving them totally.

Details of another spread I'm working on.
I like the colors and texture,
but it still is just color on a page,
not cohesive.
This is one of my biggest problems,
to pull it all together.
What I do love was melting crayon wax over parts of the page!
I used a regular iron, but I read you are supposed to use
a quilting iron, probably because of the lower heat.
I may have spilled red, glittery crayon was
all over my beige carpet.
Woops.
Now if I could be inspired, it would be so nice.

Hanna and her Inspiration

2010-04-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

If you don't have Hanna's blog bookmarked,

GET TO IT!

She is SO full of creativity and inspiration

and ideas that it truly boggles my mind.
When I grow up I want to be just like her

Her most recent topic of discussion has been

Blurb and its very awesome capabilities

to produce professional-looking books

that. you. make.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

They have pre-designed layouts you can use,

or you can upload PDFs of your own layout

and upload it to the website.

Hanna uses InDesign for her spectacular photobooks

she's made. I am on a free 30-day trial trying

to learn this stuff.

I love learning new stuff

Gets the creative juices flowing

One thing I worry about,

what if I learn TOO much?

Or run out of things to be excited about?

I sometimes worry that I am not focused enough

on what I like to do creatively.

This whole new world has exploded last July,

and I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off,

drooling, going "Ooh I want to do this! and this! and this!"

And then get overwhelmed and shut down.

What do you do to focus your creative spirit?

(But I still want to make a book...I just have to think of what!)

You know how I said I loved my iPhone?

I still do...and the fact that I can take decent pictures

anywhere I want has me on picture taking overload.

Me getting ready to water the plants outside work

(I loathe this task)

This little fella somehow made its way up to the desk

Today a Kindergartner goes to me:

"Do you like chicken?"

"Yes, I love it"

"Well you should...EAT MORE COWS!"

*he dances a jig out the door*

Kids are hysterical, aren't they?

Cool lighting, eh?

I get to write on this board...pure joy

my arty water fountain shot

I mean...for a phone taking these pictures, its pretty great.

One day I'll get back to art journaling....

Thank you blogging world...

2010-04-17T23:29:00.000-04:00

Your sweet words helped lift me up.

Today I sat down and wrote and wrote,

trying to get out my demons.

I cleaned the apartment that I had ignored for too long.

I ran errands.

I even painted a little.

It is a long road I'm on, I think,

but it helps to know that someone out there

does care. Even if I never met you!

I just got an iphone...and the camera compared to

the blackberry I had is WORLDS better.

Plus there are lots of fun apps for it.

I saw this car at Target. Hysterical, eh?

I had a similar car when I was 17

88 Oldsmobile named George

My friends and I spray painted it for my graduation party

I drove it around like a proud badge of honor.

I cried when two weeks later my parents

took it to the car pound

And a certain kitty named Jack

makes me feel better when he's all cuddly on my lap.

Art Interrupted

2010-04-16T18:13:00.000-04:00

I know this has nothing to do with art or creating.

I need to get these words out somewhere,

because I don't feel like I can anywhere else

in the world.

I am barely holding it together,

and I'm not entirely sure why I feel this way.

I had my boss and my boss's boss worried about me today.

I can't let this interfere with work.

I need to get paid.

I'm scared

and lonely.

What do you do when you have no one to talk to?

I haven't picked up a paintbrush...

2010-04-15T21:24:00.002-04:00

I haven't picked up a paintbrush in well over a week.

I feel myself sinking.

How do I pull myself up?