Sigh.
You wouldn't think someone could fail at creativity,
but I am pretty sure I do.
These paintings are for my aunts, for Christmas.
My Nonni asked me to do them in OCTOBER.
They should have been mailed like 3 days ago.
Failure.
I bought the canvases about a month ago because I felt so guilty
for not having started.
A few weeks ago my Nonni told me I should probably unwrap them.
A week later, I did.
I did these paintings in the various forms as they are in
one inspired saturday.
Every single day this week, what did I do?
Oh, laid in bed. Because THAT is the productive
way to spend my evenings.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, not to mention my Sketchbook, for the Sketchbook Project.
I still have about 40% left to acomplish before Jan 15.
yeah right.
My peak with that was when I traveled to Kansas
to visit a friend. I've half-drawn some stuff here and there,
but blech. I was so excited for this, and now I want
to throw it in the trash.
I still have about 40% left to acomplish before Jan 15.
yeah right.
My peak with that was when I traveled to Kansas
to visit a friend. I've half-drawn some stuff here and there,
but blech. I was so excited for this, and now I want
to throw it in the trash.
Ah Dawn, all I can say, is don't feel guilty for your emotions, EVER!! And maybe you are expecting too much.....get back to playing! You are a good Artist!! And I know you enjoy it. The holidays are such a hard time of year with all the demands and fun stress! Give yourself a break. It's really not all or nothing.....just relax, it'll be ok!!
ReplyDeleteToo hard on yourself. Way too hard on yourself! Tell your Nonni & aunts that your muse needs more time for the paintings, and take a deep breath. It will come in its own time, until then play and enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI decided not to sign up for the sketchbook project for this very reason. November & December I am very busy with family stuff, and I just can't do everything at once no matter how much I'd like to or think I should. And sometimes I just need some time off...to watch trashy TV or kill bad guys in a video game. Can't be all highbrow-ed, high-powered creativity and productivity all the time!
Take care, and go easy on yourself. xo
Not failure....pressure....I've found when I think I am making something for someone I get very bound up and can't create. I'm not always aware of it, but I'm pretty sure I'm caught up in the person it is for: will they like it? is it the perfect image for them? etc...For me i work at letting go of who it is for. I might even paint more pieces all at once tricking myself by saying these are going to be for several people and I don't know who will get what...anything to get away from the pressure. Just hoping to add to the voices of support...
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Dawn. Creative blocks happen to all of us. Just try a five minute period of doing something toward your goals. SARK says that those five minutes will often turn into a couple of hours or more!
ReplyDeleteGood luck on your art projects. You can do it, girl!
Dawn...I know how you feel. I've stopped putting pressure on myself to have to finish something by a certain date. You have done better than I did on the sketchbook project...I got mine and never ever started it...ha! No matter, good luck and do what you can do and don't worry!
ReplyDeleteMary
No such thing as a failure at creativity ! Making art as gifts can be torture ! I have been there. I now only make little crafty things instead of "art" for gifts. Then I reserve the really creative time for creating art that is from within me, art that is only for me, my self-expression. If a friend or family member loves a piece, I then consider if I am willing to part with it. If I can, I give it away. If not, I make a really good copy of it and frame it for them. No more art for everyone else's sake for me. My art and my creativity are my gifts to me first !
ReplyDeleteYour aunts will love a good book, a fine wine, a loving hug or a promise of a date with you.
And you can go back to feeling like an artist who makes art...just for herself.
Super duper hugs to you, Brilliant One !