If you are ever in need of a good quote,
Rumi will never fail.
Just yesterday I was going to put a post up here
about what to do when you are so stuck in life,
but can't get past the anger at yourself because of it.
It isn't as easy as one would think, as I've been trying for years.
I ended up not writing it because it is too depressing,
and doesn't have anything to do with art.
And for today, all I focused on was doing bit by bit in my journal.
I leave it out so it stares at me, saying "WORK IN ME."
I'm trying, because right now there isn't much else I can do.
Funny how when I manage to finish any art that it never
portrays how I feel inside.
I like bright colors, and "happy" pages.
I also don't share pages with sad quotes or lyrics,
so that could be part of it too.
Either way, this page makes me happy,
and that I will take.
I'm sorry dear readers, (if i have any) for this past absyml year on the blog. I moved out on my own, and this is hte first time i've actually lived alone. The past 7 years down in Cville was spent living with my friend from college. When she decided she was ready to branch out, that meant I needed to as well.
While I was terrified of what was to come, as she is my social calendar, living alone is actually quite nice. I can spread my art supplies anywhere and everywhere if I please! I can take 4 days to do the dishes. I can perpetually wear tshirt and underwear every day. That part, is nice. The not so nice part? I already deal with depression, a chronic lower grade depression than one would think when they think of the word "depression." I have managed to completely isolate myself from the outside world. To be fair, I work with small children every day, so that takes a lot out of me. There is no hiding away when you are responsible for their well-being. By the time I get home at night, I am EXHAUSTED. I hate cooking, so I forage on whatever I have in the house. Bad nutrition plus no exercise just exacerbates the depression, not to mention how easy it is to just stay in bed and not go out and see anyone. Not that I have many friends. 2. Even that seems exhausting to try and keep up with.
ANYWAY, I didn't come on here to write about my life. Just wanted to offer an apology to why i've only been sporadically posting for past yearish. Only in the last few days have I felt that hunger, that fire that I M.U.S.T C.R.E.A.T.E It has been a LONGGGGGGGGG time since I've felt this, and I think it is because I signed up for an online class, 21 Secrets.
I had a recent conversation with my aunt and was telling her how i have about 4 million partially started projects, but can't finish any of them, and that is when I actually do feel like creating. She said that you can't create art in a vacuum, you need other people to be around, inspire you, help you. Profound, Aunt MB! So I signed up for the class and am UBER PUMPED, which fostered all this creativity from me today.
I haven't picked up an art journal in probably 2years, if not more. AWFUL. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I actually started creating a page today. Since this page, I have 3 more pages in process. I had to make myself go to bed (an hour ago...as you can see, it didn't work so well). I need to be held accountable to create. I need others' ideas and wisdom, because I feel that I have none.
Hopefully, I will start posting regularly again with the class beginning with Connie, and spur on more creative juicyness.