Holidays are O-V-E-R!

I don't have my own family (as in marriage/kids),
but the gift buying/wrapping/driving 9 hours/spending time with family
is tiring and emotionally draining.
This year, I had the 4 paintings for my Aunts that needed to be done
by Christmas as well.
The pressure I put on myself was too much.
I kept thinking and worrying about what my aunts would want,
what they would like.
What would look good hanging in their house,
even though I haven't even been in all their houses,
or feel like I know them as well as I "should" to be able to paint them something.
Brooklyn Bridge
This one, for my Aunt who lives in NYC took me the longest,
was the hardest, and was the most rewarding in the end.
She is SUCH a New Yorker through and through
and I wanted that conveyed through the painting for her.
My original plan was to do a NYC skyline, 
with the Brooklyn Bridge in front of it.
The lights aglow at night, with them shining into the water.
I did sketches, and realized how much I can NOT draw.
But after many sketches, I got a vague hint of how I wanted to draw it.
Translating onto canvas worked out well enough.
Then I tried painting my "vision," and I hated it.
It just wasn't me at all. I was trying to make
this painting look more realistic vs abstract,
and I just am not good enough to make it look well-done.
Next, I worked on my Aunt's painting who lives in Arizona.
Somehow, I forgot to take a picture of this!!! GRRRRRR.
Lets just use our imaginations, shall we? :)
I had a thought that I would have a flower as the central focus,
but with fun, happy colors. 
Colors that remind me of Arizona, and my Aunt,
who is bubbly and happy and positive.
Since my "vision" was more abstract,
I decided to just throw down those colors that reminded me of her and AZ.
Crimson. Teal. Orange. Yellow. Red.
I poured paint on a canvas, smooshed it around
and already loved it more than the other painting I had been laboring on.
*I wish I had the picture. I am going to hopefully get one from my Nonni*
I immediately loved this painting because it involved my favorite colors,
more abstract technique and I thought,
"Hmmm...maybe I need to stop worrying about what they will think,
but what makes me happy."
This is hard for me--but it was irrefutable proof that it made my artwork better.
The painting above is the result of that.
1,000 times better than what it was.
A little further onward, lend thy guiding hand to these dark steps
a little further on--John Milton
For my Aunt who lost her husband to cancer in May.
She's going through such a hard time, that I hope this quote can ease her pain a little.
For my Aunt that I feel like I know the least.
Hers was hard, and this was the first one completed--
before my ephiphany; therefore I like it the least.
My cousin told me she likes pinks and browns,
so that is all that I had to go on.

I am happy the holidays are over.
I am hoping 2011 will resolve in more focus on artwork
and what I want to do with it,
and less on spiraling into depressions and avoiding art when I should be embracing it.

1 comment:

  1. When I read your blog it could have been me writing. I too felt I had no real creativity until I found blogging and realised we all do, and I discovered only encouragement and never unkind words. I love your colourful paintings,and that they are personal to the people you painted them for. Your blog has given me encouragement and pleasure seeing your work