12.17.2010

Failing at Creativity

Sigh. 
You wouldn't think someone could fail at creativity,
but I am pretty sure I do.

These paintings are for my aunts, for Christmas.
My Nonni asked me to do them in OCTOBER.
They should have been mailed like 3 days ago.
Failure.
I bought the canvases about a month ago because I felt so guilty
for not having started.
A few weeks ago my Nonni told me I should probably unwrap them.
A week later, I did.
I did these paintings in the various forms as they are in 
one inspired saturday.
Every single day this week, what did I do?
Oh, laid in bed. Because THAT is the productive
way to spend my evenings.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, not to mention my Sketchbook, for the Sketchbook Project.
I still have about 40% left to acomplish before Jan 15.
yeah right.
My peak with that was when I traveled to Kansas
to visit a friend. I've half-drawn some stuff here and there,
but blech. I was so excited for this, and now I want
to throw it in the trash.

6 comments:

  1. Ah Dawn, all I can say, is don't feel guilty for your emotions, EVER!! And maybe you are expecting too much.....get back to playing! You are a good Artist!! And I know you enjoy it. The holidays are such a hard time of year with all the demands and fun stress! Give yourself a break. It's really not all or nothing.....just relax, it'll be ok!!

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  2. Too hard on yourself. Way too hard on yourself! Tell your Nonni & aunts that your muse needs more time for the paintings, and take a deep breath. It will come in its own time, until then play and enjoy.
    I decided not to sign up for the sketchbook project for this very reason. November & December I am very busy with family stuff, and I just can't do everything at once no matter how much I'd like to or think I should. And sometimes I just need some time off...to watch trashy TV or kill bad guys in a video game. Can't be all highbrow-ed, high-powered creativity and productivity all the time!
    Take care, and go easy on yourself. xo

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  3. Not failure....pressure....I've found when I think I am making something for someone I get very bound up and can't create. I'm not always aware of it, but I'm pretty sure I'm caught up in the person it is for: will they like it? is it the perfect image for them? etc...For me i work at letting go of who it is for. I might even paint more pieces all at once tricking myself by saying these are going to be for several people and I don't know who will get what...anything to get away from the pressure. Just hoping to add to the voices of support...

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  4. Hang in there, Dawn. Creative blocks happen to all of us. Just try a five minute period of doing something toward your goals. SARK says that those five minutes will often turn into a couple of hours or more!
    Good luck on your art projects. You can do it, girl!

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  5. Dawn...I know how you feel. I've stopped putting pressure on myself to have to finish something by a certain date. You have done better than I did on the sketchbook project...I got mine and never ever started it...ha! No matter, good luck and do what you can do and don't worry!
    Mary

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  6. No such thing as a failure at creativity ! Making art as gifts can be torture ! I have been there. I now only make little crafty things instead of "art" for gifts. Then I reserve the really creative time for creating art that is from within me, art that is only for me, my self-expression. If a friend or family member loves a piece, I then consider if I am willing to part with it. If I can, I give it away. If not, I make a really good copy of it and frame it for them. No more art for everyone else's sake for me. My art and my creativity are my gifts to me first !
    Your aunts will love a good book, a fine wine, a loving hug or a promise of a date with you.
    And you can go back to feeling like an artist who makes art...just for herself.
    Super duper hugs to you, Brilliant One !

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