5.28.2010

Finding the meaning

I know that I've been struggling
the past few months.
Minus the painting I made my family,
I haven't painted or created much of anything.
Now I find myself questioning all of this.
I ALWAYS get excited about something,
immerse myself in it, and then it just tapers off.
I was so happy when months passed 
and I was still excited and happy
to be creating "art."
I found inspiration in blogs, nature, books.
I wanted to learn more, expand my wings.
I even thought maybe one day I would find myself
through art.
Maybe this is where I wanted to carve a niche for my life.
A tiny, tiny light let in a dark tunnel.
Now I am afraid it was all silly.
A game I was telling myself.
I am average, always have been.
I am not doing anything exceptional, or anything that matters.
What to do?

4 comments:

  1. Hi Dawn, we all go through periods of down time in our creativity. Don't let it stop you from wanting to be an artist. If you enjoy the process of painting and working in your journal etc, just pick up your brush and paint. It doesn't really matter what you paint. Just cover pages with color. Maybe later you can go back and fill in with pictures and words, but don't let it worry you if you don't do it right away. Just have fun! That's what art is about to me. I hope this helps!

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  2. It is just self-doubt. I have been creating art all my life and I still get crippled by it. Inspiration comes and goes - sometimes making stuff helps it to come. Don't wait for inspiration, create anyway. The process is still good.
    Don't worry about being exceptional, we will never know for sure if we are or not and it doesn't matter. You are wanted how you are.

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  3. For me, everything we do matters, even and if and sometimes, especially, if it only matters to us,ourselves. Art and the need to make art can't be measured or quantified can it? Sometimes there is a feast of inspiration and others, a famine. What to do is your question ... my answer would be ..... allow the flow to take you where you need to be and .... surrender to it. Penny

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  4. i wish i could tell you how often i question what i'm doing.....how much i second-guess myself!! i think we all do, because we all want to know that our artwork "means something". but the dirty little secret is that if you've created it, it means something.....especially to YOU.....and that's really important, because YOU"RE important!!!

    i love debbie's suggestion to just paint some color into a journal or on some paper.....i've done that in the past and it's great to be able to just pick it up later and continue where you left off!

    xox

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