Ugly Inside

Ever have something happen in which
all you want to do is nothing at all?
Except, its impossible.
You dont want to lay,
You don't want to watch tv,
You don't want to read,
You don't want to listen to your favorite music.
You certainly don't want to make art.
You want to scream and cry,
and yet...you stare at a wall?
This happened to me last week.
After staring at my wall and feeling only worse,
I decided I would take a piece of paper
and a pen and scribble (literally) out my thoughts.
Lots of swearing.
Lots of writing about how I kind of hate myself.
Pity party to the max.
Then, I forced myself to put it down in my journal.
I knew by throwing paint all over it
and being as angry and self-hating in the form of art
would make me feel better.
This wasn't easy, mind you...but I had few options.
Layer one. If you look closely you can see my writing.
I needed crimson and black, and scraped it furiously on the page.
A few more layers later...
The finished product, many layers later.
I wish you could really see all the colors that shine through.
I used all of my "ugly" colors, because that is how I feel.


  1. Oh no Dawn! I hope you're feeling better soon. I think it's great that even at times when we feel like absolute crap that you managed to still make something out of it. You go girl!!! I'm hoping your creations return to a happy place soon... tj in germany

  2. I know this feeling. I hope it soon passes for you.


  3. I hope you feel better Now!! I know that's exactly what I do when things just aren't right!! I go to my journal, each and every time!! You did good!! You got it out....then you made some art!

  4. I completely and utterly know that feeling of wanting to do nothing. Sometimes, I wanted to just disappear too. Art saved me life more times than I can count as well. This time of year is particularily hard for us sensitive types as we head into the "dead" season, as I call it ! ;) Keep reaching out for tools that do you good and using the shoulders for those who care. Hugs and big love to you, Dawn.

  5. This is a powerful post and a powerful art piece. Keep getting those feelings out! It can only help.

  6. Thank you Dawn. This is exactly how I've been feeling and I'm just didn't know how to take my feelings to paper (because I can't draw & I'm not artistic). Now I have a "blueprint" to follow.