Mini Art Cards
I bought some water color pencils (Prismacolor) the other week, and have had water color crayons (Caran D'Ache Neo Color II) for awhile. I also grabbed a couple of Micron Sakura pens and have tried my hand at doodling Zentangles and other little things. I cut up a piece of 9x12 watercolor paper into 4ths and made these little cards. Sort of like a mini journal entry/thought for the day. It is interesting to learn how to use these crayons and pencils. To get the amount of color and water to get the desired effect. I am still learning, but that is part of the fun!
I made this card yesterday when I was trying fervently to just let my mind be. Be free of all those little things in balloons. It is very, very hard. Sometimes it feels impossible.
The worry card was made today after a dentist's appointment. I really, REALLY hate the dentist. All doctors, but the dentist the most. I hate everything about them, and I have a really nice dentist. I have been told since I was about 12 that I am going to need to get my wisdom teeth out. Each time I say "No way!" They do not understand how much stress I go through just to get a cleaning! I also have had plenty of cavities, and those are on another level...don't even get me going on wisdom teeth.
Today I went (no cavities!! one "watch" tooth), and my hygenist and dentist both really begged me to get them done. He told me that my two lower ones (which are impacted) could cause decay on my back molars, and once that happens I will probably lose those teeth. AHHHHHHH. No amount of brushing or flossing can help either because its below the gum line. That scared the shit out of me, and I had to fight the oncoming tears while still in the office.
So, despite the relief that I don't need to see them again for another 6 months, there is that ever-looming "GET YOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT" cloud hanging over my head. I don't even have words for how scary that is for me.
If I can barely handle the thought of going in for a cleaning, how can I handle anything that comes my way? I've been SO lucky in life to never have any health problems. I have a serious phobia of hospitals as well. Even to go visit people in there makes me plaster myself to the walls and get nauseous. Worry. Such a huge part of my life. I wish I could just let it fly away.