Today was a cold, wet, rainy day here in VA.
After being called into work (boo!),
Going to the gym to find out the class was moved (boo!),
I NEEDED to paint. I put on some rockin' cds
(Can anyone say Thriller?)
And went to town.
I really, really love the format of my music book.
I love the creativity it allows me to have using two colors.
Plus, I love figuring out if the page matches the music.
I have had lyrics first, and made the page according to those,
and I have had the page painted first and found
lyrics based on that. I like both methods.
Take a look!
And a page from my Big Journal.
This page went through MANY incarnations.
Mostly a hate/hate situation.
I tried using colors I don't normally gravitate towards,
and it just wasn't working. Hmmmm.
I don't hate the final result, nor do I love it.
It does look better than this picture.
There are more reds, and it is more vibrant overall.
Something I noticed tonight.
Once I post on here that I have no new art,
I have the desire to go CREATE it.
Anyway...I worked on my Music Book tonight.
Take a gander.
It is amazing what you can do with just
White, Black and a tiny bit of color.
I love that using this palette is challenging my
Does anyone subscribe to an art magazine?
I get every Art Journaling magazine that comes out
But was wondering if people follow the art world at all?
No new journal pages.
Me and Depression are in a fight.
I did wake up to Jack in my roommate's laundry bag this a.m.
I like that word, stormy. It just says so much.
You can picture the dark colors swirling around
in a sea of anguish, agony, fury.
A lyric from one of my very favorite songs,
from one of my very favorite bands (U2)
"Stolen from the sea, a storm blows up in her eyes
and she is raging, she is raging."
This is how I've been feeling lately, and I'm so afraid it will get worse.
As I posted earlier, my best friend/roommate is
moving back to NY in August.
We've lived together for 5.5 years.
That is a long time.
This is an adjustment that I KNOW will be difficult.
I can't even bear to look at apartments right now,
and I know I need to find another roommate
and I SO do not want to. It won't be even remotely the same.
Anyway, I sat down today and this poured out of me.
I like when that happens, because it usually isn't that easy.
At least the weather here is gorgeous.
Its that time of the month again!
Oh, its nice to say that and NOT mean our "friend" is here.
Time for Michelle Ward's monthly crusade. I do love doing these.
This month, she had us painting tissue paper and
adding it to our art work!
Fun, easy....and fun.
If you haven't joined in, there is no time like the present.
Today, I got out all my blank paper that has just been
waiting oh so patiently to be painted upon.
I got out all my paints,
all my tools, and went to town.
Oh yeah, I have finished making my Music Book
The pages are crooked, uneven, lopsided.
Even so, I am proud that I made this from recylables!
Sigh. This is going to be a wordy blog post, but I need to get it out. In the end of August,
my roommate will be moving back to NY for grad school. We have been living together
in VA for 5 1/2 years now, post college. I love Charlottesville, and have no desire to
move back to NY.
The problem is, I have become VERY comfortable in this life. We get along wonderfully,
and in many ways are like a family. I have a cat, she has two cats, and we live quite harmoniously.
I don't open up many people, I don't date, and I don't let my family in close to me.
The one person who I can talk to anything about is my roommate. I can get mad at her,
I can cry, we certainly do a lot of laughing.
I don't know what is going to happen when she leaves. My therapist (sigh, yes my therapist)
has been telling me that this won't be easy, but it is an important catalyst for change.
I know she's right, but it I still avoid dealing with this at all costs.
Except, your mind sometimes goes off on its own.
Apparently it doesn't want to avoid it. I have spent this past week
fighting off tears all day at work, wanting to talk to
someone, and having no one to talk to.
Who do you turn to when your one person is the problem?
I did something quite out of the ordinary.
I called my aunt. I had to leave work because I was
feeling like I was going to implode on myself.
She told me the same thing my therapist said: This is exactly
the kick in the ass I need. I know, I know.
All it does is make me cry! And if you know me,
you know I don't cry. But, it was ok. My aunt told me
that WE will get through this together. That she will be
there for me. (I cried. Again) She gave me an assignment for the weekend.
I need to open my mind, and write down a list of things
that I don't want, and a list of things I do want.
Well, writing down things I don't want is easy.
I don't want to move back home
I don't want to be a miserable, depressed mess the rest of my life
I don't want to be lonely.
What do I do want? How can I answer that if I don't know
who I am? What passions do I have? Up until a year ago,
I would have told you I have none.
My family keeps telling me that I have talent,
that my paintings are good.
But, they are family, family is biased.
I love it. I love putting paint on a page.
Ok, I love it. What does that mean? That doesn't mean I am talented
It doesn't mean anything.
This is hard. Why can't I be naturally gifted like my brother?
Why can't I have a burning desire to create despite
obstacles? Is it fear? Does it matter anyway?
This is my life.
I broke down some boxes of mine....mmmmm....beer and thin mints.
And spent the past few days cutting, and sanding
my pages down to size.
Next I will be gessoing the pages to get ready for the abuse
they will receive.
I plan on making this my Music Book.
Clever title, right?
I think I want to do it mostly black and white,
with splashes of color here and there.
I L-O-V-E color, but this will be a little different,
pushing my boundaries a little.
I want to make pages inspired by my favorite lyrics,
the way a song makes me feel.
This spread went through a LOT of changes and stages where I hated it!
I am trying to get over the fact that I feel like I am wasting
paint by messing up and re-doing the page totally differently.
When really, these pages would not look how they look without those
mess-ups! The textures and layers wouldn't be so rich,
and it really makes me love the final product more.
Next post: What I am making out of a pile
of old snack/beer boxes (I love beer!).
Hint: Inspired by Ingrid
Since starting on this art journey, I have mostly used
artist grade paints, Golden to be specific.
I started out with a bunch of Liquitex Basics,
a student grade series...and they performed ok.
I started picking up Golden's Fluid Acyrlics at Michael's
with a 40% off coupon and fell in love. Now I'm a
paint snob :) Today I found a couple of bottles of craft
paint hidden under my bed, and decided to REALLY see
what the difference is between these bottles of paint,
besides the price of course.
I know there are art journalers out there who do use
craft paint, and they make wonderful and amazing things.
If the muse is within you, it will come out no matter
what tools you do or don't have.
My muse is a tiny, scared thing. It doesn't
like to come out very often.
I feel better knowing that at least I am using quality
paints. Plus, they just glide over pages and canvas.
They are transparent and mix beautifully.
They are bright. Bold.
All things I love.
But, I decided I wanted to test out craft paint anyway.
I didn't do anything more than paint swatches of similar
colors next to each other. I didn't test other techniques or
pens on top. Maybe I will.
Here are the results
The reds are definitely the most obvious. I used probably twice the amount of
red craft paint than the red Golden paint. Besides it covering less area,
look at the difference in pigment! The Golden just pops off the page,
bright and in your face. The craft looks watered down.
The green craft paint definitely was brighter compared
to the green I made with Golden paints.
(the craft is the left, Golden, right)
They weren't the same shade because
it was hard to mix that color, but something
that you can't tell by looking at the screen,
is how they feel to the touch.
The craft paint is chalky, matte finish.
The Golden is more glossy and a smoother finish.
To each his own, right?
Next I have a journal spread in my new "big" journal.
These pages were inspired by Dina Wakley
Her art journals are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
Check her out.
I was browsing through Etsy last week and saw so many amazing and awesome paintings.
The wealth of talent just on Etsy is really great. I love the internet and the connection
it gives to people around the world. Here are some of my favorite Etsy links.
I just love how these artists use color in a modern and abstract way. I aspire to be
able to paint and have people be moved by the color, the composition and whatever
is inspiring to them. I was inspired to try and create something fun and colorful.
I always loved trees, and thought to make a 3-series panel
of a tree spanning across the three canvases. I wanted
to make the sky fade from blue --> purple --> red --> orange --yellow
I am happy with how it turned out, though
I know I have SO much to learn.
You can tell it can be so much more, but that is ok.
Each panel is 10" x 10"
The finished product on the wall.
I'm celebrating the completion of me making my own journal for the second time with a
second beer! I made this one much larger than my last. I'll let the pictures talk.
I also will be showing some pictures of a beautiful (almost) spring like day
around town from Monday.
And something we all need to keep in mind...